SELFIE: My review

SELFIE, which premiers tonight is ABC's blatant attempt to attract Millennial viewers and appear “hip” and “with it” or whatever it is that those young people say these days. The end result is they’ve managed to take some decent actors and a good writer and produce one God awful television show. WTF ABC? Sitcom by calculation. Is this comedy? NIMBY. The premise is a modern day PYGMALION. Or a modern day MY FAIR LADY, which at the time...

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The process of a play: part 2

Here’s another installment of the process of producing my play, A OR B? which begins previews October 15th at the Falcon Theatre in Burbank. Tickets you say? Here’s where you go. After a week of table readings and analyzing the script it was time to get it on its feet. I’m used to television where that means the cast rehearses in the show’s various sets. Not so in the thee-a-tah.  Since another show is currently on the Falcon stage we...

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Hey, weren't you "Jerk at the bar?"

A trainer in my gym is also an actor. (I know – knock you over with a feather). He recently appeared on the Showtime series CALIFORNICATION playing the fan favorite, “Hollywood Asshole”. And knowing him, I bet he was good in it. Some of his previous roles included “Jerk at the Bar”, “Thug #2”, and to prove he has range – “Jogger”.An actress I know has these impressive credits: “Vegas Showgirl” on CSI. Also “Bikini Girl”, “Sheik Girl”, “Cute...

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Farewell Derek Jeter

Okay, this is a baseball post. So for many of you, see you tomorrow. But I love baseball, have opinions, and have a blog. So here are some observations from the bleachers:I love Derek Jeter.   There, I admit it.  Even with all the hype, even though I'm not a Yankee fan, I think Derek Jeter is one of the finest and classiest ballplayers in history.  How classy?  Even though he's out of work starting Monday I bet he doesn't...

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Friday Questions

How can you enjoy a weekend without Friday Questions?  You can't.  So here they are: MDHaines is up first. Does bias have to be a bad thing in Hollywood? If a liberal slant attracts a large liberal audience, or vice-versa, isn't the bottom line still whether not money is being made? Are actors really black listed because of politics? Depends on whether networks believe politics are in vogue. A left wing slant didn’t hurt ALL IN THE FAMILY,...

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Why have there not been any hit sitcoms over the last few years?

There was a big front page article in the Los Angeles Times a few days ago on the state of sitcoms. The article accurately points out that sitcoms remain TV’s cash cow. They cost less to produce than one-hours, they do well in reruns and syndication, and cable networks rely on them to hold up their schedules. But networks are bemoaning that they have been unable to launch any blockbuster sitcom hits for years now. BIG BANG THEORY and MODERN FAMILY...

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Who's your favorite?

I watched the movie of THE ODD COUPLE recently starring Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon. A lot of it still holds up, but when I first saw it as a kid I was hysterical. I couldn’t imagine any better casting than Matthau & Lemmon.Seeing it again, after many many years, one thing struck me – I now greatly prefer Jack Klugman and Tony Randall as Oscar and Felix. Sure, part of it is familiarity, but Randall really WAS Felix Unger. Jack Lemmon...

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Barbra Streisand

I have a love-hate relationship with Barbra Streisand – as a performer. I’ve never met the woman. She’s never invited me to shop at the mall she had built in her house. But there are moments I think she’s the greatest singer of all-time and others when I want to put my fist through the speaker – all within the same song. Lately, Babs has been making the rounds, hawking her new duets album. TANGENT RANT: Does every singer have to do a duet...

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What I'm up to these days

I thought it might be fun to chronicle the process of having my play produced at the Falcon Theatre. (Obligatory plug for tickets: Here’s where you go.  They're going fast.  Seriously.) The play is a two-character romantic comedy exploring the relationship if the same couple had been lovers or co-workers. Work really began when our director, Andrew Barnicle, came aboard. Even though I’ve directed a lot of TV, I’ve never directed a...

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The story behind the CHEERS theme

I get asked about the CHEERS theme a lot.  So I am re-posting my post about it.1981. Songwriter Gary Portnoy had just been fired as a staff writer from a major music publisher. His friend Judy Hart Angelo happened to meet a Broadway producer at dinner one night who needed a score written for a new musical he was producing. They decided to team up. Gary had never written for the theater, Judy had never written a song.Somehow a tape...

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Who needs France when you can have Vegas?

I've gotten a number of emails from readers asking for more travelogues.   The problem is I haven't traveled much this year.   But to fill your request (and plug my book of travelogues,  WHERE THE HELL AM I?   TRIPS I HAVE SURVIVED, available here) I am reposting one from 2003.  This was the time a bunch of us idiots went to Vegas for the first week of March Madness. March Madness has arrived again -- the...

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Friday Questions

Even rehearsals for my play won’t keep me from answering Friday Questions. What’s yours?Snoskred asks: Did you ever listen to the official podcasts for Breaking Bad? Do people in the industry see these kinds of things as ways to engage fans, or as an annoyance? Would you consider doing a similar podcast for a show you are involved in, even if it meant you had to organize it?I personally don’t listen to any show podcasts, but if I had a show I would...

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My sort of cousin Vinny

Vincent Price was a major movie star. You’ve seen him in dozens of horror films. He often played villains. And he had an amazing voice. As scary and sinister as his persona was, in person he was the nicest guy you’d ever want to meet. Gentle, sweet, gracious.  And sort of... kind of... a distant relative. In the early ‘40s he lived in the same duplex on Canfield Dr. as my mom’s family when she was a teenager growing up in Los Angeles. Whenever Vincent was preparing for a movie he would hang out in my grandparents’ kitchen running lines...

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Hey, wanna see my new play?

Individual tickets go on sale today!  Here’s where.  Or you can call 1-818-955-8101.   I know this means a whole lot to you folks in Norway or Tuscaloosa. But if you’re going to be in the Los Angeles area or God forbid you live in the Los Angeles area, would love for you to check it out. I’ll be there most nights (I’m the one in the back sweating) so it’s a good chance to meet. Rehearsals have begun and so far it’s looking...

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Mission Impossible meets Top Cat

This is another crazy story that happened along the way in our career. This was on a pilot rewrite.In 1976 there was a somewhat popular movie called MOTHER, JUGS, & SPEED about ambulance drivers starring Bill Cosby, Raquel Welch (as Jugs of course), and Harvey Keitel. Two years later ABC commissioned a TV pilot of the movie. They changed Jugs to Juggs so it would sound (or at least read) less sexual… although unless you’re from the hills...

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10 feet from stardom

Last Thursday night was one of the highlights of my career. I got to direct a show my daughter Annie co-wrote along with her terrific partner, Jonathan Emerson. I’ll spare you seven paragraphs of sentimentality that would make IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE seem hard-edged (that’s what Facebook is for), but suffice it to say it was a very special occasion and I’m still kvelling (Jewish expression for bursting with pride).  I'll just sprinkle a couple...

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Worst designed jerseys ever! Or maybe the best?

The Colombia's women cycling team's jerseys should sell well in concession stands and sporting good stores.  Yik...

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This would send me into therapy for fifty years

From a 70s sex education film. Guys, don'tcha hate it when this happens??Yeah. Knock, mom. And take acting lesso...

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Maybe the weirdest story you'll hear all year

WARNING:  This is a re-post from four years ago.  Not sure if this place is still thriving but boy, wouldn't you like to see the mastermind pitch this on SHARK TANK? Remember those songs like “Lonesome Town” and “Heartbreak Hotel”, metaphoric destinations for the lost and lonely? Imaginary havens for love’s refuse. Well, it turns out one such place actually exists!!There is a seaside resort town in Japan named Atami. It used to...

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