See MIckey Mouse beat the shit out of a guy

Here’s another edition of Short-Attention-Span-Blogging.

100 A-List actresses’ nude photos have been hacked and posted on the internet. This has sparked much debate over violation of privacy, free speech, etc. Be honest. Did you try to find them? Of course you didn’t. However, “Jennifer Lawrence Photos” was the most searched item on Google yesterday. So you didn’t look but someone did.

Poor Kirsten Dunst was only 9th.

I do not have anything in “the Cloud.” Nude selfies of me I don’t mind getting out. But I don’t want anybody downloading my Gwyneth Paltrow Sings album.

This is HILARIOUS. From Russia. The greatest case of road rage EVER. Don’t fuck with Mickey or Spongebob.


I think the bobblehead craze is finally starting to run its course. The Dodgers gave out a Magic Johnson no-look-pass bobblehead and had a bunch left over. And now they’re planning a Babe Ruth-as-a-Dodger-coach bobblehead giveaway. Jesus. Why not Dodger Stadium parking lot attendants bobbleheads?

I’m flying to New York tomorrow. Really looking forward to it now that there have been three – count ‘em, three -- separate incidents of in-flights fights over reclining seats. The Friendly Skies, my ass. Note to airlines: This isn’t peanuts. You can’t eliminate legroom.

It’s a good thing Mickey Mouse wasn’t on one of those flights.

When someone Tweeted to Anna Kendrick that he was happy her iPhone wasn’t hacked in the nude scandal she tweeted back: Don’t worry, bro. It would just be photos of food and other peoples’ dogs anyway.

Here’s my fantasy football team: The Los Angeles Rams.

NOVEMBER MAN was not bad. It’s Pierce Brosnann playing James Bond as Daniel Craig but looking as old as Roger Moore. The plot is somewhat familiar – Ex-CIA agent pulled back in. Denzel’s done one, Kevin Costner’s done one, Liam Neeson has done six. There’s one coming out every month. This must be November's.  

The Labor Day Telethon is not the same without Jerry Lewis.  Where's the faux sincerity?  Where's the cheese?  Where's Wayne Newton?   

The Toronto Film Festival is this weekend as Hollywood flies 3,000 miles to see movies they could watch at their desk.

I’m sorry to all my Facebook friends – I don’t check for birthdays. So let me now just wish you a Happy Birthday (whenever it is) and remind you that mine is February 14th.  And I'll be hurt if I don't hear from you.

Labor Day ratings: HOUDINI whipped SAVE BY THE BELL’S ass. But that’s understandable. HOUDINI was on THE HISTORY CHANNEL and SBTB was on one of those fringe networks – NBC I think it was.

The most played song this year on oldies radio stations is “Sister Golden Hair” by America. And for the first time ever, the Eagles have been played more than the Beatles. Too bad Gwyneth Paltrow didn’t record in the ‘80s.

I’m very excited. Next week I’m directing an episode of INSTANT MOM written by Annie Levine & Jonathan Emerson.  It's a great script and my Fellini touches will only make it better. 

Retiring shortstop, Derek Jeter is being honored this Saturday at Yankee Stadium. As all Yankee fans know he leads the franchise in hits, games played, stolen bases, and also was the first man to walk on the moon, discovered penicillin, painted the Sistine Chapel, founded Apple Computers, and hosted THE TONIGHT SHOW for 27 years. I hope they get a good crowd.  Just to play it safe they should give away Babe Ruth-as-Dodger-coach bobbleheads. 

Talk about “too soon” – This is what comedian Max Alexander posted on his Facebook wall yesterday: As of now funny lady and comedic pioneer Joan Rivers, is on life support…So is her daughters career.   YIKES.

I’m the only person in LA who has not touched the Stanley Cup. Guys on Death Row are trading it for cigarettes.

I hate that the first week of college football, powerhouse nationally ranked teams play opponents like Death Valley Jr. Community College and Duncan Hines Cake Decorating Academy and beat the crap out of them 85-3. That’s not football. That’s organized bullying with a marching band.


Networks are starting to buy pilot pitches again. So if you’re a successful actor run in and sell your amazing life story about growing up in a family that lived in a house. Once all the actors have sold pilots, then writers are invited to pitch – probably in late November.

Now that Labor Day is over, let me be the first to wish you a Merry Christmas.   Get those lights up.  It's already September 3rd. 

And here's the best part of Christmas:  Allison Williams as Peter Pan for a live NBC special.  No wonder the Lost Boys are lost -- they're going to have a lot of confused excited hormones.