You can't say that on the radio

Here's another tale from my misbegotten radio career.  It's also a re-post from six years ago. 1972. I’m a relief engineer at KABC and their sister station KLOS-FM. That meant I played the records on KLOS and played the commercials on KABC. My shift on Sunday nights was to play the public service shows. As preposterous as it sounds now, radio and television stations once were expected to actually serve the community. A certain...

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Friday Questions

Hello from somewhere in the Far East.   Here are some Friday Questions although where I am it's Saturday. willieb asks:Any truth in those "everybody has a screenplay" stories ("My hairdresser/valet/dry cleaner gave me a screenplay to read")? Have you been bombarded with sample scripts? If so, what's the weirdest situation you've had to deal with?I’ve received scripts at my high school reunion, I’ve told the story about getting pitched...

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I think I need therapy

I think I need therapy based on a very disturbing dream I had last night. (No, it wasn't that you didn't buy my book.) First, I should mention that I’m not a great dancer. You know when clothes get clogged in your washing machine during the rinse cycle and the whole machine shakes so violently you think it’s going to break? That’s me during slow dances. But back to dreams. They’re supposed to provide you with wish fulfillment. You’re making...

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There was comedy before 2005

As some of you know, I am in Andy Goldberg’s Improv Workshop on Wednesday nights. It’s always a blast. I did a scene a few weeks back with a fine improver (if there is such a word), John Content. It was a “Man on the Street” scene. You’ve seen those. Jimmy Kimmel does them frequently – an interview snags passersby and asks them various questions. I was the interviewer and John was the “man on the street.” We got the preliminaries out...

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Why it's cool to be a TV writer

I’ve bitched in the past about the frustrations of being a TV comedy writer -- notes, crappy food, etc.  So you might ask: “why WOULD I want to become a TV comedy writer? What are the pluses?”Okay, how about these?First – a disclaimer: these points apply to when you’re in a good working situation. No matter how “dream” the “dream job” is, if your boss is a monster, your co-workers are the Manson family, and the working conditions are a...

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My (sort of) review of the Oscars

Since I am in Korea I was unable to watch the Academy Awards.  And no Korean channel shows them.  Maybe next year when THE INTERVIEW is nominated for Best Picture. So I wrote my snarky review before I left. I’ve done this before. Let me know how right I was. Most people in America thought this was the first time Neil Patrick Harris ever hosted an awards show. Harris had good moments but was better hosting the Tony Awards. And again,...

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A horrible way to lose an award

Helping you to get in the mood for yet another awards show, here’s another of my old war stories.My partner David and I were head writers of MASH. We had a very small staff so quite a few scripts were assigned to freelance writers. Some, like Everett Greenbaum & Jim Fritzell and Tom Reeder did terrific work and most of their first drafts are what you see on the screen. But others didn’t pan out as well. In those cases, David and...

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My version of FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

This is a re-post from several years ago when the book came out.  But with the movie now out and doing boffo business I thought it would play better now than when I originally wrote it.    In case you’re one of the eight who haven’t read or seen it yet – it’s a love story about a college graduate, Ana and her kinky boyfriend, billionaire Christian Grey. It’s only told from Ana’s side, and we get her account in minute detail. There’s...

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Friday Questions

Hello from Beijing.  Where are all the Olympic athletes?  Did I miss it?  Oh well.  It’s Friday question day. What’s yours?Damian J. Thomas wants to know:Why do TV series waste my time with retrospective episodes? Some episodes simply show parts of the same stuff I’ve already seen. Was someone, such as the head writer, on vacation that week?Retrospectives are a cheap way to fill out a season’s worth of shows. They generally...

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Actors I've worked with who won't remember me

Michael Keaton is getting a lot of Oscar buzz (despite winning a Golden Globe) and I can proudly say that I’ve written for him. But not in a big movie. He did a guest spot on FRASIER that David Isaacs and I wrote. And it got me thinking about all the major names I’ve worked with, especially as a director – but not in the projects they’re really known for. It’s like I’m in the shadow of everyone’s career. But here’s a partial list. Ready...

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A crazy award season story

They say it’s an honor just to be nominated. And I guess that’s true. But it kind of depends on what the award is you’re nominated for. “Best Sleeper” in camp is not as prestigious as an Oscar (although it is on a par with a Golden Globe). Awards given by your peers generally hold more weight. And that’s why being nominated for a WGA Award is an honor. At least for me. I’ve won a People’s Choice Award and they wouldn’t even give me the...

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Bon Voyage

Just so you know…I am leaving today for a three-week trip to the Far East. I’ll be in Beijing for the Chinese New Year (counting ours and the Jewish one – my third New Years this year). Among my other stops will be Seoul, Korea (which I can write off as research for MASH), Shanghai, Hong Kong, Taiwan, several stops in Japan, and Tokyo (where I’ll inquire if any Japanese baseball teams need a play-by-play announcer). I will continue to post...

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My thoughts on FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

No surprise that FIFTY SHADES OF GREY opened big this weekend. There was tremendous curiosity about whether this masterfully written book could possibly be adapted for the screen. Could all the subtlety and subtext somehow make the transition? Could the complex themes resonate when the story was put on its feet (or on it's back)? And what about the task for the actors? There was so much depth and dimension to Christian and Anastasia, would...

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Why did we leave MASH?

In light of Jon Stewart leaving THE DAILY SHOW, I'm reminded of the national uproar when David Isaacs and I left MASH.  Here's a re-post of a Friday Question from five years ago.  Trust me, with Brian Williams as my witness, bevo is just one of MILLIONS who asked this question.   bevo asks:How come you left MASH?We had just completed the 7th season. From the time David Isaacs and I became head writers we pretty much wrote or re-wrote...

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Happy Valentine's Day

Most guys don’t love Valentine’s Day. It’s a holiday designed to trap them. If you’re dating more than one woman, you’re dead. If you get the wrong gift, you’re dead. If the gift is too cheap or too elaborate, you’re dead. If you get her a humorous card with Bush on the front you’re dead (although in that case you deserve to be).Or worse, they love the gift and card too much. Then you’re REALLY dead.My problem with Valentine’s Day is that...

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R.I.P. Gary Owens

Every career starts with that first person who believed in you and gave you a chance; who saw potential in you when others didn’t. For me, that person was Gary Owens. He passed away last night. He was 80.  I'm heartsick. You’re all familiar with him, whether you know it or not. Gary was the cupped-hand announcer on LAUGH IN, the voice of Roger Ramjet, and the voice of thousands of commercials and cartoons. His rich deep voice was distinctive...

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Friday (the 13th) Questions

Wow.  Two scary days in a row -- Friday the 13th and then Valentine's Day.  For a little distraction here are some Friday Questions.  Michelle L. leads off: I just recently read "Why Are You So Sad" by Jason Porter. One of the characters is obsessed with M*A*S*H, and is a somewhat depressed man because he didn't grow up to be Hawkeye. The fact that I somewhat related to him freaked me out a bit. What would you say to fans that become...

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Great advice for young TV writers

... that doesn't come from me.  It's from Javier Grillo-Marxuach, who is currently the showrunner of Syfy’s “Helix.”   He posted a series of Tweets that blogger Kate O'Hare compiled (You still with me?  I know -- lots of names being tossed around.)    His advice was terrific (read: I agree with it) and worth passing on.  You can find it here.   I especially appreciate his suggestion that young scribes write specs...

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Bob Dylan Sings Frank Sinatra

As strange at that seems, it's true. As per the press release:Bob Dylan has released Shadows in the Night, a studio album featuring interpretations of Frank Sinatra tracks. The collection of 10 songs and standards was released today via Columbia Records, and marks the first new music from Dylan in three years. Produced by Jack Frost, it will be the 36th studio album from Bob Dylan, and follows the release of the rewired Sinatra hit Full Moon and...

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Brian Williams, Jon Stewart, Kanye, Uma, and random (a)musings

In no particular order of importance: Comedy Central – please don’t let Larry Wilmore replace Jon Stewart. Like everyone else, I’m bummed about Stewart leaving THE DAILY SHOW. How will Millennials get their news now?But seriously, it is not a national tragedy.  Note to everyone on Facebook:  He didn't die.  So Brian Williams is suspended for six months. It’s the right call. Let the story blow over, and by the time he returns...

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Shows that work in syndication and shows that don't

Okay, this is my theory. And it's based on no empirical facts. Zero research. Not one shred of supporting evidence. So needless to say, I feel very confident about it. It is my contention that people watch first-run television differently than when they watch reruns on cable channels. And as such, shows that play well in one instance play less well in the other. Example: Serialized dramas. You eat ‘em up the first time. But once you’ve...

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