Stop crying already!

Is it possible to do a reality show without having someone cry? It’s gotten beyond ridiculous.

In the early days of television there was a game show called QUEEN FOR A DAY. Women would compete for the saddest sob stories. It was one icky tear-jerker after another. Finally, a winner was crowned “Queen for a Day.” Destitute housewives were given washer-dryers and blenders.

Those contestants were amateurs compared to today. People have complete breakdowns over cake decorating. Men wail like little girls if they’re not selected for dates.

Clearly, most or all of it is for show. This country is a sucker for weep porn. The problem, of course, is that Reality has become the “Genre that Cried Wolf.” There’s so much emotion that none of it lands. And the result is that these shows all seem manipulative, bogus, and quite frankly insulting.

I watched the season premier of SHARK TANK. I tune in to see idiots try to sell their squirrel stun guns and hear the Sharks offer sound business advice. In a recent rerun, Shark Robert Herjavec became a blubbering imbecile recalling his father’s night watchman job. And then in the season premier, a contestant broke down and bawled uncontrollably because his fiance wouldn’t come to America unless his ersatz idea took off. To make matters worse, the Sharks were visibly moved. Kevin O’Leary was overcome with grief, dabbing his tearing eyes.

I don’t mean to be a cynic, but Jesus, what a load of BULLSHIT.

Like I said, all this manufactured heightened emotion just cheapens genuine emotion. What’s sad is you’d think the public would catch on. You’d think they’d be pissed that reality producers think so little of us that they can serve up this palaver and think we’d believe it. But I guess enough of them do believe it.

Now THAT makes me cry.

Come on, America. Man up. It’s just a blender. A fucking blender.