THE EQUALIZER: My review

It’s hard to believe that Edward Woodward and Denzel Washington would be playing the same role. But such is the case with THE EQUALIZER. The movie version is in theaters now.

It’s based on the TV series of the same name and basic premise from the mid-80’s. So first of all, the movie’s target audience was probably not born during the series run on CBS. So their expectations going into the Cineplex is just Denzel’s smile and explosions.

But as someone a tad older and a big fan of the TV version I couldn’t help but compare one with the other.

The movie is a fun ride. Denzel blows a lot of things up. He’s a super bad ass who can outthink and outkill any evil doer. So lots of audience-pleasing scenes of him single-handedly taking down the entire Russian mafia. He’s a human Vegematic -- slicing and dicing all in one easy motion.

And of course, since it’s Denzel, he’s also incredibly charming, good-hearted, and down-to-earth. He can suffocate my nemesis any day. Denzel plays Robert McCall (same name as the TV version – they were faithful to that at least), a former CIA agent (who probably roomed in spy school with Jason Bourne) now working at a big box home improvement store in Boston. At one point there’s a major action sequence there. Lots of fun with power drills, etc. All during it I kept thinking – good thing he didn’t work at Staples. He’s be thwarting the bad guys with stickers and dymo label makers.

So I enjoyed the film, but it never captured the essence of what made the TV show so unique and truly great in my opinion. Edward Woodward, at the time he was making the show, was already a distinguished British actor but in failing health. As a result, he was the most sedentary action hero in history. Bob Newhart is more active. Scott Caan is Jackie Chan by comparison. I think in one episode Woodward did a little judo chop move, although I suspect they used a stand-in. And yet, he could walk into a room of the scariest tatted motherfuckers you’ve ever seen and they would all cower at just his presence. It was hilarious. The entire underworld was intimidated by a fop in an overcoat.

So as much as I love Denzel, when I heard they were making a movie version I was hoping for Stephen Fry. Still, if you’re in the mood for a good by-the-numbers cry vengeance movie THE EQUALIZER fills the bill. And as a bonus, you learn new ways to use a club hammer.

UPDATE: Thanks to my readers, here's an awesome parody of the TV EQUALIZER from the Dave Thomas Show. Dave was a member of SCTV.