We have power

At least for now, as I write this, this minute. To be on the safe side I’m saving this document every few words, because you never know. Not here. Not where I live.  Not in the natural disaster site otherwise known as paradise.

This began Thursday. Well, actually it began a few days before Thursday when the thermometer went above 85. Seven people run their air conditioner in Los Angeles and half the city goes out. I love LA, but the moment weather conditions aren’t ideal the entire county is crippled. Local newscasters actually break in with bulletins when there are “trace” amounts of rain. One inch of rain in any 48 hour period results in STORM WATCH coverage. Because we get so little rain in the summer, the freeways get slick with oil and so the first eight drops of the fall results in massive ten car pile-ups.

Somehow a half an inch completely floods the San Fernando Valley. Channel 5’s Eric Spillman is always reporting knee deep in water from the corner of Ventura Blvd. and White Oak. Why not just run the same report from the last five years and let poor Eric stay in the news van? 

When the temperature plummets down to 40 there are frost warnings. Once people can see their breath schools close.  We're ill prepared for any calamity more serious than Costco closing two checkout lines. 

And whenever there’s a heat wave there are power outages. You’d think Southern California would recognize by now that it gets hot every year but apparently not. Last summer I was in Dallas with the Mariners. It was something like the 40th straight day of 100+ temperatures. Every light was on. They ran the air conditioning full blast in Cowboy Stadium with not so much as a flicker in all of Texas. Los Angeles goes three days when you don’t need a sweater and we have rolling blackouts.

So Thursday afternoon at about 4:00 our power went out. We called the Department of Water & Power and got a recorded message. Several communities were experiencing problems – including ours – and service was due to be back at 4:06 Friday morning. (How can they determine to the minute when it’ll be back?)

Friday morning the power was back, but then at about 5:00 in the afternoon we had a brownout. This is where the power company decreases the voltage they send to your house. So in our case, lights went on dimly, the TV and cable worked, but there wasn’t enough juice to power computers and certainly not for air conditioners. Does your microwave beep when it doesn’t get enough voltage? Does your landline beep for the same reason? Ours did. Our house was a thousand degrees and sounded like NORAD during amber alerts.

The good news was the construction nimrods next door couldn’t run their jackhammers.  If it didn't mean living like a tribe in SURVIVOR I'd keep the electricity off just to spare us the noise from these home improvement specialists.

Then the power went out completely again. It came back later that night and since you’re reading this, it stayed on for at least a half hour.

Now, all of this is just a minor inconvenience certainly. It’s amazing how untethered we have become when we can’t tweet. And my heart goes out to all of you who had real misery, who were without power for weeks following disasters such as Hurricane Sandy or Hurricane Katrina. This is not so much a rant about the hardships I’ve had to endure – like I said, it was an annoyance at best. Everyone’s power goes off from time to time. And it’s not like I missed COVERT AFFAIRS. But it points out yet again, how this goofy city is forever overwhelmed by even the slightest adversity.

No wonder people laugh at us. We apply for Federal Relief Aid when there is humidity.

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MTM vs. Lear

Now that the summer is nearly at an end we can concentrate more on Friday Questions. Here are some:

Michael starts us off:

In a recent blog post about yelling at Rob Reiner, Earl Pomerantz mentioned in the 70's there was a competition between MTM shows which were strictly character-driven and Norman Lear shows which, while also very funny, tried to teach lessons.

Cheers and Frasier clearly fell into the MTM camp while MASH sometimes veered more into the Norman Lear style. Question for you is did you prefer writing for one style or the other?

I clearly preferred the MTM character style. Even MASH was more character based than issue based. We’d refer to issues but not debate them. Lear shows generally were plotted from argument to argument. I much prefer writing shows that are based on universal relatable behavior.

And that’s not to knock the Lear shows. They were brilliant and (at first) groundbreaking. We would have loved to have written for ALL IN THE FAMILY or MAUDE. But there was a level of anger on those shows that didn’t really jibe with my temperament.

The MTM style really began with Jim Brooks and Allan Burns. From Mary came TAXI and from TAXI came CHEERS and from CHEERS came FRASIER. I was thrilled to be on that train. Too bad it's no longer running and is now in moth balls.

Marco asks:

You already described how much you liked the Cheers set in an older post. Do you know what happened to the set when the Hollywood Entertainment Museum closed in 2007? I sat in the set back in 2003 and enjoyed it a lot - I hope they have not destroyed it ...

I hate to burst your bubble, Marco, but that was not the original set used on the show. It was at best a copy, and it always bothered me that they were passing it off as the real deal.

I don’t know where the real one is. The Smithsonian might have it.

I walked onto the stage the day they were dismantling it and found it so disturbing I left after maybe one minute.

Chicago Pinot has a question regarding my post on Elmore Leonard and his TEN TIPS FOR WRITING:

Thanks for sharing these tips! The only one I am curious about is #7. When you were writing Cheers, was there ever the thought that a particular line or performer's delivery would be "Too Boston" for the mass audience?

Yes. There were times when actors spoke in thick authentic Boston accents and the jokes didn’t work. If the audience has to work hard to decipher they’re less apt to laugh. We gladly would trade authenticity for laughs.

I’ve told the story before, but we had a similar issue with David Ogden Stiers on MASH. When he came in to play Charles Winchester he originally wanted to give him a thick Boston accent. We worried that it would be too distracting. So he backed off on it and that’s the accent he used for his entire run on the series.

From Brenton:

I've heard that the "callers" to Frasier's radio show were real celebrities, sometimes talking about their real problems. David Duchovny was one, talking about what would later be revealed to be his sex addiction. Did anyone involved with the show realize he was making a confession of sorts?

Purely coincidental. He must’ve recognized the irony of course, but none of us did. I wonder if Tea Leoni finds that episode amusing?

And finally, from Breadbaker:

Baseball, as you know, is considering a challenge system to allow replays. On television, it's fairly simple to cover the time while they're being considered by showing the station's own replays. But what does a radio announcer do?

What we always do – read commercials, promote the next homestand, give the disclaimer, and read more commercials. Often times the game itself is just an imposition.

What’s your question? Please leave it in the comments section. Thanks!

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Hate Watching

The latest TV craze seems to be “Hate Watching.” People seek out and habitually watch shows they can’t stand, shows that make them angry.

Why? Because there’s not enough real aggravation in the world or bad entertainment – we need more!

It used to be you would watch awful shows for the cheese factor. As the old expression goes – they were so bad they were good. They were so over-the-top off base that it was amusing. MOMMIE DEAREST, Roger Corman movies, Ed Wood productions, the ‘60s BATMAN series, Japanese game shows, MANNEQUIN 2, Psy, and anything hosted by James Lipton or starring Ru Paul.

There was a certain kitsch, camp aspect to them. And there are still shows worth watching for that reason. Give me a PREGNANT AND DATING and SHARKNADO any day!

But lately that trend has morphed into watching shows religiously that you actively hate so much they piss you off.

Now I should mention this is not a new phenomenon. In the late ‘60s/early ‘70s there was an ABC sportscaster named Howard Cosell. He was this pompous, dyspeptic blowhard with a grating voice and abrasive delivery who offered color commentary on MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL. Most people despised him but they tuned in to disagree with everything he had to say. To a much lesser degree, Simon Cowell fills that role. He plays the villain, but his analysis is actually quite candid and refreshing. ESPN’s Chris Berman has made a very nice career for himself by getting on people’s nerves. Same with baseball's Tim McCarver.

But today the practice has become a popular fad. SMASH was probably the hate watcher’s champion. And GLEE was not far behind. A current favorite is THE NEWSROOM. A friend said to me about THE NEWSROOM: “I hate it each and every week.”

But he watches it.

Trust me, the provider doesn’t care why you watch shows just as long as you do. You could love it, loathe it, only watch because you want to sleep with Olivia Munn -- it matters not. They've got you.

When you consider how terrible the ratings were for SMASH, probably the only people who tuned in were hate watchers.

Personally, I’ve abandoned the practice. The last show I hate watched with any regularity was HAWAII FIVE-O. At first I watched because I wanted to like it. Then I realized the stories were terrible and the acting was worse, and yet I still watched because I love the scenery of Hawaii and figured, “Seriously, how much worse can it be?” They would answer that question every week, and then they started integrating commercials into the show (one for Subway was jaw dropping), and eventually I said, “What the fuck am I still watching this for? Click. I’ve never watched a minute of it since.

I thought I’d hate watch the CBS sitcom PARTNERS last year, but the pilot alone was so excruciating that I could never go back.

Seems to me that hate watching is not healthy and certainly not good for the psyche. In a thousand-channel universe, and thousands of movies available for you on demand, why waste your time and energy on material you know will only infuriate you? Would you get in your car and drive during rush hour traffic if you didn’t have to? Would you date Roseanne twice? No. Of course not. So why watch THE TALK?

Life’s too short. I’m still kicking myself for having watched Howard Cosell.

Do you hate watch? If so, why and which shows, and have you ever considered extensive therapy?

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One of my great mentors

HBO has another superb documentary airing these days – a biography of sportscaster Marty Glickman. It’s a portrait of a fascinating individual.  Even if you're not a sports fan you should find his story inspiring.   He should have competed in the 1936 Olympics but they were held in Nazi Germany and he was, well... screwed.  

New York sports fans grew up listening to Marty. He was the voice of football and basketball in Gotham for a thousand years. More than that, he literally invented basketball announcing, coining the terms used to describe the game. 

He also served as a mentor to numerous young sportscasters, including this incredibly grateful blogger. 

This was the mid-80s. We hated Iran more than Iraq.  President Reagan had prostate surgery.    I was learning how to do baseball play-by-play by going to the upper deck of Dodger and Anaheim Stadium and sitting in the stands with a tape recorder, surrounded by drunks. For basketball I attended Clippers games in the old Sports Arena, and that was great because I’d have whole sections to myself.  Even the drunks didn't bother.  Sitting in row 114 I imagine the players on the court could hear me.

A friend put me in contact with Marty Glickman, who at the time was the radio voice of the Seton Hall Pirates basketball team. The Bucs were scheduled to play in the first round of “March Madness” at Pauley Pavilion on the campus of UCLA (my “crib”). Marty needed someone to keep his statistics for him during the game. I gladly volunteered. He sheepishly said he had no budget to pay me, but I didn’t care. I would have paid him.  To be able to sit next to God while he called a basketball game -- this was like winning an Emmy. 

My friend had told him I was an aspiring sportscaster so he volunteered to listen to a tape of my work.  Holy shit!  I sent him a cassette of baseball on one side and basketball on the other.   The plan was I'd meet him at his hotel the morning of the game, we'd go over my tape, I'd drive him to the arena, and we would work the game.   Marty Glickman was going to be in my car.   In fanboy terms that's like Joss Whedon writing AVENGERS 2 on your laptop.  


We met at the appropriate time. He was overall very complimentary (overly so considering the actual quality of the work) and popped in the tape, basketball side first.

Along the way he paused to offer lots of great suggestions. Be more descriptive. Be less verbose. Where exactly on the floor was the action? Always give the time along with the score, and always give the score after every basket. Find interesting ways to identify the players. Vary my vocabulary. Always make it clear which team controls the ball. Talk about the crowd and setting. Use my voice to build tension. Have an expert grasp of the rules. Sprinkle in more analysis. Keep the audience aware of the foul situation and how many time outs were left. Refer to the shot clock more.  In other words, I needed a lot of work.  A LOT of work. 

When the basketball side was mercifully over he removed the cassette. I figured he would flip it over and do the same with the other side. Instead, he just handed it back to me and said, “You’re a baseball announcer.” Clearly I had a better feeling for the game and was way more in my element.

When I needed a demo to send out to minor leagues teams I used that inning. I figured, if it was good enough to impress the great Marty Glickman, it had to be good enough for the huckleberry in Elephant’s Breath, Georgia.

Sure enough I received several offers.

I owe a great debt to Marty. He was the first professional to suggest I might have enough talent to actually get a job doing this. He was (as everyone else says in the documentary) a total mensch.

I invite you to seek out the documentary.   It's a slam dunk.  SWISH! 

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My thoughts on your punchlines

Great job everybody. Thanks for coming up with punchlines for this joke:

Danny was so afraid of commitment that...

And I hope you had fun. Today I’m going to go through some of them. And to ensure anonymity I’ve hidden all the comments from the original post. So if I critique yours, no one will be the wiser.

I’m not going to point out all the ones that hit the mark (and there were quite a few) nor am I going to critique every one that I felt still needed work. I’ve received close to 300. There were some that I absolutely didn’t get. I wouldn’t know how to respond. They’re insane. And I say that with the disclaimer that I might just be dumb and missed the joke.  But yikes.

A couple of other disclaimers: every rule has an exception, especially in comedy. So nothing I suggest should be set in stone.

The point of this exercise is not to be critical. It’s to illustrate the rigors that comedy writers put jokes through. In writing rooms there are frequently long discussion about jokes – why they work, why they don’t, what’s wrong, how can we make them better? At times we can be real sticklers (read: assholes). But comedy often requires precision. Adding a word, changing the order of two words, substituting a more specific or funnier word – these are the tools we deal with.

We’ll often say a joke “doesn’t track” if the punchline doesn’t match the requirement of the set-up. We’ll flag jokes as being “on the nose.” These are jokes that fulfill the requirement but don’t have a comic spin. Danny is so afraid of commitment he refuses to get married. It tracks just fine, but where is the funny?

And then there are jokes that are too “convoluted.” They require the audience to connect three or four steps to get to the laugh. Audiences don’t like working that hard. You want them to hear it, get it, and laugh.

So as I go through these please take the suggestions in the spirit they were meant -- to help you get a better sense of what comedy writers go through and how to write better jokes.

WARNING: This is a long post. Much longer than usual. So grab a sandwich and make a day of it. Or just skim.

...he put his number on the Do Not Call List, then called up telemarketers to apologize.

Making a commitment requires an active choice. In this one Danny makes a commitment but then has second thoughts. So it’s more that Danny is indecisive. See the difference? Sometimes you’ll pitch a joke and for some reason it just won’t feel right. It seems to hit all the parameters but there’s something nagging. Go back and see if the joke addresses the exact definition.

He woke every morning, knowing that today was going to be, possibly, the best day or worst day ever. Or tomorrow.

Again, there’s nothing for him to actually commit to.

That he still does not have a favorite Beatle.

Funny and specific example of how he still can't make a commitment for fifty years.

...he used "Call Me. Maybe." as his pick-up line.

This could be interpreted as the person he’s trying to pick up is the one with commitment problems.

...that the Save The Date Card for his wedding was a perpetual calendar.

Weddings are a good area because they involve a strong commitment. This is clear and funny.

Danny was so afraid of commitment that his umbilical cord was a bungee.

Sharp joke with a funny image.

...he didn't come out of his mother until he was six years old...not quite sure about that life thing.

You don’t have to explain the joke. (not sure about this life thing) Let it stand on its own. This exercise remember, comes from Andy Goldberg’s improv class. We were all asked to fill in the blank. This was mine.  It's very similar to this last one.

Danny was so afraid of commitment he stayed in the womb for two years.

A number of you guys beat it with funnier punchlines.

...he took pruning shears to his ring finger.

Ouch. You run the risk that people will blanche instead of laugh.

....he decided to divorce all five of his wives.

This is what we call a joke on a joke. He has five wives (which already shows he has a fear of commitment) and then takes an extra step. It’s usually cleaner if he if the joke settles on one concept. I say “usually” because sometimes it works.

...he lived out of rental cars.

This implies he can’t commit to a home or a car. I think it works. Why? Because it’s so short. And it satisfies another requirement of the joke. Danny was SO afraid of commitment. It’s not enough he drove around only in rental cars; he lived in them. Now back to the bigamist. You could argue that divorcing them all addressed the SO afraid part of the joke. But I would suggest a better example is he was so afraid of commitment he had ten wives or twenty.

He moved to Utah for more choices.

That’s more in the ballpark. Utah and bigamy are good areas for this joke.

...on first dates he'd park the car and leave the engine running.

You leave yourself open to other possibilities as to why he leaves the engine running. He might be worried that his date won’t want to make out with him in which case he’d want to quickly leave. If he goes up to the hills with his date to make out but can never decide where to park, that’s closer.

...that when his girlfriend asked him to move in, he not only faked his own death, but hers as well.

Okay, this is one of those jokes that’s completely illogical (how do you fake someone else’s death?) but is so extreme and the concept is so funny that it sort of works. Sometimes in a writing room someone will pitch a joke, everybody laughs, and then someone else says “Yeah, but it makes no sense.” Everyone made some connection that made them laugh so in cases like that I usually go with the joke. This might be one of those.

...he wouldn't even listen to U2.

I’m confused. Are you saying that everybody listens to U2 or is the name U2 somehow significant in the punchline?  Or am I just out of touch?

...he left the movie theatre before Harry met Sally.

Not sure what this means. He is so afraid of commitment he can’t bear to watch other people who are afraid of commitment?

…he only dates hermaphrodites.

Short, funny, absurd, specific.  Yes!

he’d only date twins.

Even shorter. Well done.

Danny was so afraid of commitment he signed a pre-nup with his inflatable girlfriend.

Funny!

Danny was so afraid of commitment that he RENTED the first season of the Partridge Family.

Most people rent television shows. And why the PARTRIDGE FAMILY? Since the person in the joke is Danny, is that supposed to tie into the PARTRIDGE FAMILY reference (Danny Bonaduce being a member of the cast)?

His favorite song is the minute waltz...

This would work if the joke was Danny was so impatient that…

He lives in Four Corners...

Bingo. Short. Clear. Funny.

Danny was so afraid of commitment he wrote his love letters in pencil.

Good but could be funnier. Go to the extreme. How about this one from another reader?

his wedding vows were written with invisible ink.

This is typical procedure in a writers room. One person suggests an area and the search begins for the best version.

...that he told his lady to keep her legs crossed

Not sure how that applies. He’s afraid of getting her pregnant?

Danny was so afraid of commitment that he brought a plus one to his own wedding.

This is a thinker. It’s a little convoluted.  To hedge his bet he brought another date?  It could also mean he brought a friend for moral support. 

Danny was so afraid of commitment that it drove him crazy...enough to be committed to an asylum.

This is on the nose. It answers the question but needs a comic spin. This just told you the consequences.

Danny was so afraid of commitment that he died alone. Sad and alone.

Same thing… although I wonder if the writer was even trying to make people laugh.

... he avoided women by moving into a San Francisco rowhouse with a creepy hair-fetishist wannabe rockstar and an even creepier cartoon-voice imitator.

Way too long and I suspect these references are inside jokes about people I should know but don’t. Long winding payoffs usually don’t work as well as short punchy ones.

...his marriage license had an expiration date.

Marriages are a good area. Nice.

Danny was so afraid of commitment that he married a Kardashian.

Yes. Off beat and specific. The Kardashians' penchant for brief marriages is so well known that this reference scores.

... he wouldn't even do things half-assed.

This would work if Danny was so lazy or such a bad worker that…

...that he asked Congress to authorize his actions.

Using the joke to make a political statement. Certainly valid.

... he defied gravity

I know I’m being a stickler, but avoiding commitment is an active choice and unless he has a superpower, defying gravity is not.

...he signed up on the one-way trip to Mars.

Danny sounds pretty committed to me if he’ll do that. And why a one-way ticket? And why Mars? Not clear.

....he only listened to "unfinished" symphonies.

Nice.

Danny was so afraid of commitment that he kept a goat in his bedroom.

I don’t get it. A goat eats things. How does that apply?

He started writing his first novel on an Etch a Sketch.

That works.

Danny was so afraid of commitment that even listening to the song 'Mustang Sally' brought him out in hives.

I’m completely befuddled. And usually when a writer is asked to explain his joke, there’s a 99.9999% chance it’s not going in the script. Ed. Weinberger used to do that when he was showrunning.  He'd challenge a writer who just pitched a joke.   "Why is that funny?" he'd bark and the poor writer would have to answer in front of the whole room.  This resulted in numerous emergency calls to therapists.

Danny was so afraid of commitment he only dated nonagenarians.

Okay. To protect himself Danny only dates people who are going to die soon.  People have to know who nonagenarians are but it’s valid. Is there a clearer version? He only dates girls from assisted living facilities. Here’s an alternate version someone posted:

Danny was so afraid of commitment that he decided to only date amnesiacs.

That seems a little sharper. Here’s another try on the old age theme:

Danny was so afraid of commitment that he only dated girls from the terminal ward.

Needs a comic spin.

Danny was so afraid of commitment he finished his sentences with semi-colons;

Funny and off beat. Nice one.

...he carried his groceries in his coat pockets cause he couldn't make the call between paper or plastic

Sets up a funny image of a guy walking around with groceries bulging out of everywhere. If you can picture the joke that's generally a very good thing.

... his imaginary friend was an imaginary acquaintance.

Nice.

...took his mother to speed dating.

A thinker but a funny concept. Bringing your mom to speed dating ensures no one will go out with you. If I was a showrunner I think I’d say let’s try it but have something else in the bullpen.

...that he moved to Japan, joined the Yakuza and then proceeded to violate their code ethics by screwing up the Starbucks order, showing up in blue jeans before casual Friday, not replacing the toner cartridge, etc. which lead to having the tip of his pinky finger and eventually his ring finger amputated, which meant he could not wear a wedding ring, which wouldn't really keep him from getting married so never mind.

Possibly a tad convoluted? Whattaya think?

Danny was so afraid of commitment that he called himself Anny.

In this case he’s just committing to a different name. If he was so afraid of commitment he couldn’t answer to any name that would be more on target. See the difference?

He became bulimic.

Oddly absurd. I like it.

Danny was so afraid of commitment he's still trying to decide whether or not to watch the pilot of VIVA LAUGHLIN.

Convoluted. We have to know what VIVA LAUGHLIN is. We have to know that it’s a show that hasn’t been on the air for quite a few years. That’s a lot to know and put together for one joke. And Danny’s lucky by the way that he missed that pilot.

Danny was so afraid of commitment, his longest relationship was with his divorce lawyer.

Nice.

Danny is so afraid of commitment that he makes Sarah Palin look like Cal Ripkin Jr.

We gotta know who Cal Ripkin Jr. is and what he represents – he holds the consecutive game streak in baseball. And we have to know who Sarah Palin is and for purposes of this joke, know she’s flighty. Then we have to put the two together in the intended context. Way too convoluted.

He rented a burial plot.

Funny.

Thanks again to everyone who participated.  It's amazing how many different punchlines there can be for one joke.  The last tip I'll share:  if you're stuck, go down a different road.  We sometimes get myopic trying to find a payoff in one area.  Let yourself be free.  Seek alternate options.  Pretty soon you may surprise yourself and instead of saying, "What can I come up with?" you're saying, "Which of these do I like best?"   Of course, then you might turn into Danny. 

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Labor Day Miscellaneous

I’ve always hated Labor Day. It signifies the end of summer, and don’t you find that even after you have long since graduated that Labor Day brings back those dread memories of starting another year of school?

Programming note: I will be filling in for Peter Tilden tonight on 790 KABC radio from 9-midnight PDT. You can hear it on the net here. I’ll be talking about the kind of stuff I write about here. So it’s like a podcast with traffic reports.   Call in at 800-222-5222 (800-ABC-KABC).

One more day to enter the fill-in the punchline contest with no prize for you to win.  So enter NOW. 

What can we learn from this summer’s boxoffice? Ryan Reynolds can not carry a movie.

Actual Huffington Post headline from the weekend:  "Did You Have Sex With An Alien"?

Along with this one: "Paris Hilton Signs A DJ Contract Because She's Great."

And finally: "Here's More Of Miley's Butt If You Didn't See Enough This Week"

The only thing I did like about Labor Day was the JERRY LEWIS TELETHON. Okay, I admit it. I unabashedly loved the JERRY LEWIS TELETHON. I looked forward to it every year…for both the right and wrong reasons.

It did benefit a very worthy cause, the Muscular Dystrophy Association. The videos of the kids were both heartbreaking and inspiring. Let’s hope someday there’s a cure.

But the JERRY LEWIS TELETHON was the absolute height of entertainment cheese, a time warp to a Las Vegas scene that everyone but Jerry realized had long since passed, and was the home of the most insincere sincerity that only show business could create. The treacle just oozed out of your speakers. Born in the swinging ‘60s, nurtured by Sammy Davis Jr. (combining over-concern, hipness, gross sentimentality, and jewelry), this style was perfected by Jerry Lewis who added his own special touches. No one could beg with such passion while sticking a cigarette in his ear. No one could deliver a biblical sermon, break down crying, then go into his spastic character for comic relief.

The French call him Le Roi du Crazy. They still shortchange him. Since his auteur movie days he has developed his own unique and delicious blend of condescension and humility. Every year I knew what I’m going to get and was always richly rewarded.

One year Jerry called local New York co-host, Tony Orlando: “Only the best Puerto Rican to ever come to this country.”

Now how could you NOT love that???

Nowhere did superlatives fly like the JERRY LEWIS TELETHON. In only one half hour I caught “infamously wonderful”, “exceptional talent”, “most talented”, “most amazing”, “most exciting”, “unmatched”, “extraordinary”, “a true legend”, and “a treasure in every sense of the word.”

Give the man a hand. James Lipton can’t lavish praise like that.

On to the fall! 

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You fill in the punchline

Haven't done this for awhile, but it's a fun blog participation exercise.   I give you the set-up, you give me the punchline, then later in the week I go over some of your answers.   A couple of things first:

I couldn't find an appropriate photo so as always I turn to Natalie Wood.

This idea was inspired by Andy Goldberg from his terrific Wednesday night improv workshop.

Submit your joke in the comments section.

Leave your name.

Don't critique anyone else's  entry.   Seriously, kids -- play nice or I shut it down.

I'll tell you the one I came up with when I respond to yours.   I'm sure a lot of you will write funnier ones.

My reason for providing feedback is to turn this into a constructive learning exercise in joke writing.  

Enter as many times as you like, but please read the ones already submitted so we don't have sixteen duplicates.

There is no prize.  There is no winner.  This is just for fun. 

Check back often to see the new submissions.

And here we go.  You supply the punchline.

Danny was so afraid of commitment that...

Good luck.  Have fun.  Make me proud.  

OKAY.  THE CONTEST IS CLOSED.  TUNE IN FOR MY RESPONSE THIS MORNING.  THANKS SO MUCH TO ALL WHO CONTRIBUTED!!!

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