My thoughts on Eydie Gorme

Some celebrity deaths hit you much harder than others. Usually it’s because they’re major stars, cultural icons, and they represent a good period of your life. You’re mourning your own childhood or some beloved era as much as you’re mourning the person. Sinatra was a big deal. So was Johnny Unitas. And Johnny Carson.

And then there are those celebrities who were part of your life – you enjoyed and appreciated their work – but never gave them much thought. And when they pass and you’re surprisingly devastated.

That’s how it was for me and Eydie Gorme.

Now I understand that many of you may not even know who she was. Or maybe you’ve heard the name and were aware she was some kind of singer.

And many others, of a certain age, do know of her and her work and take with them a favorable impression.

For some reason this one really hit me hard.

She was a singer, very popular in the ‘50s and ‘60s, and a concert performer well into this century. She wasn’t Barbra and she wasn’t Judy so she never received that level of adoration, but boy could the lady sing. As a pop vocalist she could hold her own with anybody – including Streisand and Garland. She had a big voice, crystal clear enunciation (imagine, being able to make out the words), could belt with the best of them, but above all really sold the emotion of every song.

And the emotion was always genuine. She never became Liza With a C for cheese. She sang from the heart and you felt it.

Ironically, her one smash number one song was a trifle called “Blame It On The Bossa Nova”. That’s like the great Judy Dench, for all her magnificent work in the theater, being best known as M in James Bond movies.

And most of Eydie's TV performances were either live or on variety shows never to be aired again.

In 1957 she married fellow crooner, Steve Lawrence and for most of her career they performed as a duo. You’ve probably heard of Steve & Eydie. (And some of you may be saying: ”Oh, that’s where I know the name.”) I never personally saw them, but everyone who did said they were spectacular entertainers. I’m sure they were.

But there were many great performers. Why this one?

Maybe it’s because she was a Jewish girl from the Bronx. My parents had a friend who went to high school with her.  Every Jewish parent had a friend who went to high school with her.  Or was her neighbor.  Or they were in camp together.  There was something relatable about her. She could have been my aunt. Had she showed at family Thanksgivings she would have fit right in. I can’t imagine Barbra Streisand sitting at our Thanksgiving table. I can’t picture Barbra Streisand arriving with her homemade carrot compote. Aunt Eydie I could.

Yes, they were billed as Steve & Eydie, but they really were Leibowitz &Gormezano. Jews make it to the premier showrooms of Vegas!

But it was that hominess, that sense of being a person that, looking back, really struck me. I wasn’t just a fan… in a way I sort of rooted for her.

She always seemed underrated and I never could understand why. Listen to her sing and then compare her say to AMERICAN IDOL divas. Steve Lawrence, who is a terrific singer himself, always maintained he was never in her league. She was very special.

I’m sorry that I never got the chance to meet her. I’m sorry we never invited the Liebowitzs’ to Thanksgiving dinner. I really will miss Eydie Gorme – not because she symbolizes my youth or inspired me to go into music – but because her singing touched me, and I didn’t realize it until now but SHE touched me.

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How the isotopes really got their name

This is an interview I did in Albuquerque a few weeks ago with Josh Suchon, the "voice of the Topes" and my former partner on Dodger Talk. I talk about how David Isaacs and I came up with the name Isotopes, which eventually became the actual team name for Albuquerque's Triple-A team. I think this interview played on the Diamondvision Board during batting practice. Thanks again to Josh and everyone with the Topes for a great weekend.

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Everything you wanted to know about CHEERS Bar Wars

I get a lot of questions about the “Bar Wars” episodes of CHEERS that my partner, David Isaacs and I wrote. So here are the FAQ’s.

Did we purposely plan for the Cheers gang to lose every time?

Yes. Except for the last one. Frustration is much funnier than victory. The trick however, was to find different ways for them to lose – or screw themselves. Guess I grew up watching too many Road Runner cartoons.

What about the last Bar Wars in the final season?

Ultimately, we decided to not only let Cheers win but to demolish Gary’s Olde Towne Tavern once and for all. We’re nothing if not vengeful. Trivia note: That is the only episode of CHEERS that I appear in. I’m sitting at the bar in an early scene.

Who played Gary?

The answer is: which time? We had two actors who played Gary, in no particular order. The first time the character appeared, Joe Polis played him in a 1985 episode called “From Beer to Eternity”. When we wrote the first Bar Wars episode Joe wasn’t available. It was the very end of the season. We had no other scripts so we just had to recast. Robert Desiderio became Gary. For Bar Wars II we went back to Joe Polis and used him one other time. Otherwise, it was Robert Desiderio. Confusing? I don’t understand why we did it either. Hopefully this mystery will be tackled in the sequel to the DA VINCI CODE.

What is your favorite Bar Wars episode?

Bar Wars V. My partner, David Isaacs came up with this idea. Sam’s prank kills Gary. Or at least that’s what Sam thinks. If you can’t get laughs with a man digging up a grave you’re not a comedy writer.

What is your least favorite Bar Wars episode?

Bar Wars VI. The gang thinks a wise guy buys Gary’s bar so a prank unleashes the Mafia after them. We were reaching. And sometimes too clever for our own good. In Bar Wars II, there’s a Bloody Mary contest. We had a number of twists and turns, and after turning in the script, the staff added a few more. By the end I think there were maybe six too many. It was the BIG SLEEP of Bar Wars episodes – no one alive can tell you exactly what happened.

Was it hard to plot these episodes?

Yes. Very. These episodes were a bitch to conceive and then hard to write because there was always so much story. By nature, exposition and set ups are not inherently funny and entertaining. We had to pull a lot of jokes out of nowhere.

What was your favorite gag?

Filling Rebecca’s office with sheep. That’s the power of being a writer. You come up with a goofy idea. And voila, there are fifty sheep being herded onto the set. I’m sure the guy who came up with snakes on the plane had the same heady feeling.

There are some Bar Wars type episodes not called Bar Wars. How come?

Those were episodes not originally designed to be bar wars but evolved into them. Or they were competitions not practical joke wars, per se. In other words, I dunno. I’m still trying to figure out BAR WARS II.

And finally, are you that diabolical?

Let’s just say I hope you’re not allergic to sheep.

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Could I write for Elvis?

First off, thanks so much to everyone who commented and checked in yesterday.  It's a pleasure doing this blog for you.  And now I know your average shoe size is 8.   Here is one of your favorite features:  Friday Questions. 

Wayne starts us off:

Ken, if you had wanted to, could you have written an Elvis movie?

I’d like to think that I could meet the lofty standards of HARUM SCAREM so yes.

I’ve told this story before but it’s worth repeating:

Edward Anhalt was one of the great screenwriters of all-time. A multi-Oscar winner he amassed a tremendous body of impressive work.

In the early '60s he learned that producer Hal B. Wallis was planning to make a movie of the play BECKET. That subject matter was Anhalt’s absolute passion. He considered himself an expert on the era. No one knew the period as well. He went to Wallis with an impassioned plea that he and he alone was right for this assignment. Wallis made him a deal. Anhalt could write BECKET but he had another project that also needed a writer. If Anhalt would do that first he could have his coveted assignment. Anhalt happily agreed.

So in the same year Mr. Edward Anhalt wrote BECKET and GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS starring Elvis Presley and Stella Stevens.

If he could write BECKET I could write HARUM SCAREM.

From Joseph M.:

When sending out a spec script, is it sometimes a good idea to include a brief outline or one-page synopsis for the benefit of the reader, or does it just give them one more thing to read?

I don’t think it’s necessary. They generally won’t read it. The most important thing to do is hook the reader in the first page or two of your script – great joke, cool action, intriguing confrontation.

Michael wonders:

How much job security is there for a staff writer on a successful show? Are they pretty much guaranteed to keep working on the show as long as they want unless they screw up or are the producers constantly looking to replace some writers each year to keep things fresh?

If a writer is valuable and contributes and does not drive everyone else on staff completely batty then yes, there’s an excellent chance he can stay with a hit show for years.  Good writers are hard to find.

When longtime writers leave successful series it’s usually their choice – bigger deal elsewhere, the chance for your own show, tired of writing the same thing, etc.

As shows continue they tend to add more writers to the staff. It's like a snowball going down a hill.  So existing writers don’t necessarily have to leave for there to be an opening.

When CHEERS started the full-time staff was the Charles Brothers and me and my partner, David.  That's it.  By the eleventh season you needed to get to the room early to find a seat.

Charles Jurries is next:

What is one phrase/line/clam/sentence you cannot stand? For me it is "This is madness!" Most people do not say that, and in the heat of the moment would most likely say something that flows off the tongue a little more freely.

For me it’s “Did I say that out loud?”  Sooo overused.  And a close second is, “Hey, I’m in the room.”

I bet you kids have one or two that bother you as well.

And finally, Leemats has more staff related questions:

I'm well aware that it takes a week to make a standard sitcom episode - from table read to filming. Which means that if you're a member of the cast, you work 22 weeks a year on a network sitcom. My question is: how many weeks a year does the average network sitcom writer work? Not a writer/producer, but someone who's just a staff writer. And what do they do with the rest of the time? Do they find other ways to supplement their income, whether as a writer or in some other field? Or do they just enjoy much more vacation time than the average person?

If you’re on staff you generally work a couple of months of pre-production and then all through production counting the hiatus weeks.  So 40 weeks, give or take ten. Once the show wraps production you’re pretty much done. The showrunners stick around for post production on the episodes still not finished – another three weeks or so.

What do writers do during their offtime? I’m sorry but I can’t keep track of all of them.

Some go on vacation, others write movies, or pilots. I announced baseball.  One of the producers of MODERN FAMILY moves to Cleveland is and takes tickets at a movie theater boxoffice. That’s a true story.

What's your question?  I invite you to leave it in the comments section.  Thanks again. And if you haven't responded to yesterday's plea you're still welcome to. 

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Who's out there?

I try to do this once a year.  Today I want to hear from YOU. It’s nice for me to know who is out there and what you like or don’t like. So I’m asking you – especially you new readers and lurkers – if you wouldn’t mind going to the comments section, telling me where you’re from, how long you’ve been here, how you found it, and any thoughts on the content, yay or nay.

Which topics do you enjoy? Which turn you off? Based on your previous feedback I’ve made Friday Questions a regular feature, and you’ll notice I no longer bash George W. Bush.

In the past I’ve written about TV research. My problem is that networks use it as the gospel and make all key decisions on creative projects based solely on test results. You’d think after research said that 1600 PENN and PARTNERS would both be embraced by viewers the networks would get the message (but that’s another story). Still, if you use research for input it can be a very useful tool. In this case, it’s my blog. I don’t have to gear my content based exclusively on research. So there will still be some baseball-related posts. But as a source of feedback it’s very helpful.

When I started this blog, almost eight years ago, I had no idea what to write. So I decided to try a lot of different things and see what stuck. What stuck was writing a lot of different things. Quite honestly, I’m amazed I haven’t run out of ideas (unless I have and just don't realize it). And there’s the fear that someday I will (if I haven't already).  Thank God  there’s always a Zach Braff Kickstarter campaign or new reality show like PREGNANT AND DATING to address.

But I want to thank you for your readership. I’ve made a lot of great new friends and got a lot of shit off my chest as a result of this forum. For now I’ll continue to post something new every day and spare you banner ads. If you want to support this blog buy my book.

And keep coming back.  It's great to have you.  Okay, now it’s your turn.

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What I learned from Tony Bennett

When writers start out they generally emulate someone they admire. When my partner, David Isaacs and I started out our first spec script was a pilot. To inspire us at the start of each writing session we listened to the Woody Allen stand-up album. Big surprise that our pilot came out sounding like a bad Woody Allen script.


The trap of course is to not become a clone. How many Tarantino clones are out there? Or Judd Apatow clones?

Same is true in broadcasting. Listen to minor league announcers and you hear a lot of Vin Scully mimics. In basketball, Marv Albert is the one to imitate.

But eventually you have to grow out of that and find your own voice. Take away some lessons but chart your own course.

Tony Bennett was discussing this subject recently in an interview with the Los Angeles Times and said the most fascinating thing. When he was studying singing at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts a professor told him, don’t emulate another singer – emulate an instrument. I thought that was brilliant. You get the emotion and the interpretation without the comparison of another voice. He said jazz pianist Art Tatum was one of his big influences.

Here’s Tony from that interview:

I always loved the jazz pianist Art Tatum, who would build his performance — he would move in and out of the melody — and it would create a very interesting presentation. At the time all the singers — Sinatra, Dick Haymes — would sing what I call a "sweet, straight line," so I established a style where I would change my phrasing or end with a big finish to a song and I was able to create my own style.

God bless him and happy 87th birthday, Tony.  

Writers often speak of dialogue as music. There is a rhythm and flow. There are emotions expressed that aren’t in the specific words. The goal is to understand writers, not copy them.

To this day I'll get stuck and think "What would Larry Gelbart do?"  Or "What would Jim Brooks do?"  I'm not thinking "What would they say?"  But how would they attack this problem?   They might avoid sentimentality.  They might find an unexpected attitude that is still consistent with the character but surprising.  They might search for a clever device.   But the device itself, and the attitude, and the jokes and dialogue are all mine.  The sensibility is mine.  The characters are mine.  Just the musical score is theirs. 

So to sum up:  It’s not just pictures -- Maybe notes are also worth a thousand words.

BONUS: From our "Dancin' Homer" episode of THE SIMPSONS

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Trolls down through history

If we had Facebook in 1961:

Status update: “Great speech by JFK. Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”

27 likes. 3 Shares.

Comments:

Jeff: JFK is a dick.

Lisa: JeFF is a dick.

Jeff: Real mature.

Dan: What has Kennedy done for the country? Squt.

Lisa: It’s his first day, moron. And u can’t even spell squat.

Jeff: Well, u got a Catholic in the White House. Hope ur happy.

Lisa: What’s wrong with Catholics?

Paul: I’d fuck Jackie, that’s for sure!

Jeff: Just wait till birth control is outlawed.

Zeke: Best reason for birth control: Kennedy.

Jeff: Or you.

Zeke: Hey! I’m agreeing with you.

Jeff: Oh. Sorry.

Marcy: You’re an idiot!

Dan: Whooze an idiot?

Marcy: Jeff but you 2. Whooze?????

Craig: The Pope sucks. He’s personally responsible for the deaths of 200,000 villagers in Africa.

Marcy: Says who?

Zeke: Says whooze?

Craig: Says a guy in my typing class who knows these things.

Paul: Typing 1 or Typing 2?

Jeff: I hadn’t heard that but I believe it.

Craig: He was right about Liz Taylor being a hermaphrodite.

Dan: She’s a Jew?

Lisa: And u like who Craig -- Buddah?

Craig: If Kennedy’s got to call one religious leader yeah I’d rather have him call Buddah than the Pope.

Lisa: U mean on the phone?

Paul: I hear he’s unlisted.

Lisa: lMFAO.

Seth: Whose the first lady that you’d most wanna fuck?

Lisa: Don’t you mean whooze?

Dan: Fuck you Lisa! Did I spell that rite?

Jeff: New law: Everyone must eat fish on Friday.

Lisa: U r so ignorant! What r u? A Baptist?

Zeke: I like salmon.

Marcy: Are you saying Baptists are ignorant?

Craig: Mary Todd Lincoln. I’ve seen photos. Total MILF.

Seth: She was bat shit crazy.

Dan: Probly a Baptis.

Craig: Who gets more pussy? Buddah or the Pope?

Dan: Can Baptis fuck? I forget.

Zeke: How are they gonna get new Baptists if they don’t fuck?

Craig: So by that logic there should be no more Catholics.

Paul: It’s just the priests who can’t fuck you idiot!

Craig: Then there should be no more priests.

Paul: Sellabacy sucks!

Marcy: Jackie Kennedy looks like Liz Taylor.

Jeff: Kennedy is a mafia tool.

Lisa: How about Nixon? He was personally responsible for coupes in Peru, Bolivia, Tasmania, and one or two other South American countries. The Republican Party just hushed it up.

Zeke: Can the government really pass a law that we have to eat fish on Friday?

Jeff: Kennedy will throw out the laws. In two months the US will be a martial state. There will be checkpoints at all Catholic churches and anyone who gets out of line will be brainwashed in the country’s secret brainwashing facility in … I’ve already said too much.

Lisa: How long did it take u 2 recover from the brainwashing?

Jeff: Read a newspaper once in awhile!

Marcy: Was it the Republicans or Democrats who hushed up the secret economy collapse?

Craig: What secret economy collapse?

Zeke: What if someone is allergic to fish?

Marcy: The one in 1956.


Seth: How could the economy collapse in 1956 and no one knew about it?

Marcy: Everyone was watching the Olympics.

Paul: Who would you rather fuck – Liz Taylor or Mary Todd Lincoln?

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