Thứ Ba, 3 tháng 6, 2014

Rants, raves, and an RIP

Thursday I will be filling in again for Marilu Henner on her nationally syndicated radio show.  Check your local listings.  This is the kind of crap I'll be talking about: 

A recent poll listed Donald Sterling as the current most hated man in America, although if last weekend’s boxoffice tally is any indication, Seth MacFarlane may have that distinction.

His movie is the absolute bomb of the year. Flatline and disaster are the two most charitable descriptions of his opening weekend total. Where does this guy think he’s an actual movie star? Or such a big name entertainer he can host the Academy Awards? I swear, it’s like the old SNL “Judy Miller Show” except we can all see him.

Typical review: “There are A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST. I didn’t know boredom was one of them.” That was actually a kind review.

MacFarlane also wrote it.  Example of the hilarity (and I kid you not): Neil Patrick Harris defecates into hats for two minutes.  Wow.  Set a place at the Algonquin Round Table for this first-class wit. 

RIP Ann B. Davis. Most know her as Alice from THE BRADY BUNCH but she was truly great as Schultzy on LOVE THAT BOB. I used to watch that show as a kid. How young? I couldn’t wait for all the smoking hot bombshell blondes to get off the screen so Schultzy could come back and make me laugh. She won two Emmys for that role.

This is election day in LA, which means for the last 72 hours our phone has been ringing off the hook with robo-calls plugging candidates. At least for big elections we get Clint Eastwood and Sally Field calling. For this we get local city officials. Why would an endorsement from someone I don’t know sway me to vote for a candidate I also don’t know?

The end result is I haven’t answered my phone in three days. I hope no relatives called from jail expecting me to bail them out.

Wow, these bandwagon seats are comfortable. Go L.A. Kings. Game 7 of the Western Conference Finals got a 4.8 share in Los Angeles and a 22.7 in Chicago. That’s staggering to me – that the LA share could be that high.

The best part of the Stanley Cup Finals is the spectacular Doc Emrick calling them. Oh… and the Kings. Go Kings.

For Best Actress in a Drama Emmy this year it should be a five-way tie between Tatiana Maslany, Tatiana Maslany, Tatiana Maslany, Tatiana Maslany, and Tatiana Maslany for ORPHAN BLACK.

By the way, Seattle Mariner fans -- one of the characters Tatiana plays is named Cosima NIEHAUS.  I wouldn't be surprised if it's a tribute to Dave.   (I knew there's a reason she's my favorite clone.) 

Tonight is Hello Kitty Mini Bobblehead Night at Dodger Stadium. What does it say about how popular their big stars are when fans would rather get a Hello Kitty bobblehead than a current player? And not even a full-size one.

Huffington Post Headline: Lena Dunham’s Dog Bit Her ‘On The Ass.’ Which means we’ll all get to see the teeth marks on future GIRLS episodes.

This mystery man who calls himself @HiddenCash stuffed 36 Angry Bird toys with money and hid them in Hermosa Beach, thus causing a frenzy of scavengers racing around trying to find them. This is reminiscent of old radio contests in the ‘50s and ‘60s (since banned by the FCC). The station would say they buried a gold key worth thousands of dollars and would then give clues as to its whereabouts. The trouble is people were then digging everywhere and the entire city would look like Berlin after World War II. 

KHJ radio in 1970 had a contest where a disc jockey (the Real Don Steele) was in a mobile unit announcing where he would be to give away free money. A listener en route got into an accident and died. His family sued Steele and KHJ. (They won.) But this is a famous case that is taught in most law schools. Yes, the Real Don Steele is discussed at Harvard Law.

If you get a chance, the Don Rickles tribute on Spike (of all places) was loaded with laughs. Funniest speakers of the night (besides Mr. Warmth himself): Tina Fey & Amy Poehler and Robert DeNiro & Martin Scorsese. Least funny: David Letterman. It’s time, Dave. When Regis Philbin in funnier than you – it’s really time.

I would assume they’ll replay it. What else does Spike have?

The Tony Awards are Sunday, but of course you knew that.

Huffington Post Headline: Lea Michele Started Drinking As A Toddler.  I smell a Pulitzer for journalism...

Fellow 24 watchers – can you understand anything Kiefer Sutherland whispers? Half the show I’m going “What?”

We had a small earthquake in LA Sunday night. At one time the first thing you did was take cover. Now you post on Facebook, and then (only if there’s still time), you flee for cover.

The Milwaukee Brewers and Toronto Blue Jays – who knew???

Jeff Zucker is doing another bang-up job. The man who irreparably destroyed NBC is now working his magic on CNN. Last Friday night’s 10 pm ratings were the worst in 14 years. In adults 25-54 they scored a paltry 35,000. There are days this blog does better than that. Here’s an idea: Let Jeff Zucker run Russia.

I guess I should vote. It’s hard to tell the local candidates from the Tony nominees.

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