I am having a book signing in LA

It's also an excuse for that long overdue meet-and-greet with LA fans of the blog, but I will be having a book signing at the Barnes & Noble in the Grove in West Los Angeles on Monday night, October 29 from 7-9 PM.  I'll probably read a passage, answer questions, and do whatever authors do at these things.  I dunno... look "tweedy." 

This is for my book, THE ME GENERATION... BY ME (GROWING UP IN THE '60S). 

So please swing by.  Just to refresh your memory:  a bookstore is a place that has books on the shelves and you can buy them right there.  You don't have to order.  I know.  It's a hard concept to wrap your mind around.  Okay...imagine a BevMo that stocks literature instead of gin.  Believe it or not, bookstores used to exist everywhere.   And now... there's the B&N at the Grove and I think an independent in Ojai.

So it's a big deal that I get to do this.   So who's coming?  Hopefully YOU.

What's the book about?  Again, here's the trailer:

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Is it worth doing a weekly sitcom live?

The writing team of Josh Goldsmith & Cathy Yuspa (two talented and lovely people) just sold a pilot to Fox that would be a domestic comedy shot live every week. Coincidentally, I just received the following Friday Question from DyHrdMET (I assume this is a Mets fan and if so, my condolences):

What are your thoughts on doing a sitcom on live television (even a single episode)? I remember a TV show Roc about 20 years ago that did live episodes on Sunday nights on FOX. Have you ever been involved in that? Would you want to be? 

There have been several recent live episodes of sitcoms done as a rating stunt.  30 ROCK did a fantastic episode.  I seem to recall WILL & GRACE doing one as well.

There are pluses and minuses. The first plus for Cathy & Josh is that this hook helped sell their pilot. If you don't sell it first, nothing else matters.

The other big advantage – from a producer standpoint – is that you have absolutely no post production. You save hours and hours of editing, color-balancing, sound correcting, etc.  Not to mention no pick-ups.   No 2:00 AM wraps. 

Another advantage goes away quickly – the novelty aspect of the stunt. At first it’s very exciting as a viewer – you know you’re watching something live. But after awhile, you forget and the show just has to live or die on its content. Do you pay any real attention to the fact that SNL is L?

And now the downsides. You have waaaaay less control over the quality.

You’re putting an enormous amount of pressure on the actors week after week. Josh & Cathy mentioned they want cast members with improv backgrounds, which is very wise, because they’re going to go up on lines. It’s inevitable.  Wait'll two big jokes a week get trampled. In addition to everything else, they’ll be expected to cover and still steer the show back to the script. Some can do this. But very few. Lots of really good actors who would be perfect for your show might avoid it because they’re worried about this aspect. So suddenly your pool of candidates shrinks considerably. It’s hard enough to cast when everyone in the world is available to you.

And then there’s the guest cast. Your principals might get somewhat used to the format, but actors just coming in for the week would not. One of them could kill an episode if they fuck up badly.

All the imperfections will be exposed. Sound problems (the audience didn’t hear a line because the boom operator missed a cue), bad camera shots because someone is not right on their mark, a light blows out on the set, a prop malfunctions, a wall falls down, etc. You’re stuck with it.

Writing-wise, you back yourself into a corner. There will be weeks the script doesn’t work and you need to do a lot of rewriting. There’s no wiggle room for pushing the filming back a day or two. Plus, you make it that much harder on the cast when you give them whole new 40 page scripts to memorize with only a day or so before they have to perform it in front of millions of people. That’s not fair to them.

On the other hand, to not change things because you’re putting too much pressure on the actors means you often have to live with lines or scenes you know are not as good as they could be. I had that with the musical I co-wrote. During production we were so strangled by Equity restrictions that we had no time to fix lines and moments and night after night I would watch stuff that needed help but couldn’t address it. It drove me out of my mind. In television I’m used to just going out on the floor and changing something. No can do in live TV. Or summer stock in Connecticut.

The storytelling itself will be dictated by the restrictions imposed by the form. Just like with a play, costume changes have to be covered and getting actors from set to set can be a challenge. And unlike a play, you don’t have the suspension of belief you do in the theater. Sets can’t just fly in. Lights on and off can’t determine different locales. These obstacles are not at all insurmountable but they must be factored in. Here again, Cathy & Josh are smart to make it a domestic comedy. Entire shows can take place in the house. Imagine doing SEINFELD live with its forty or fifty one-page scenes. Yikes! Or FRIENDS where the costume changes for the actresses alone took hours.  A typical FRIENDS filming took from 5:00 PM to 2:00 AM.   They even had two audiences because the first one would be exhausted after five hours.  That ain't gonna fly in live TV. 

Assuming they’ll perform the show twice each week (once for the east coast and again for the west), the west coast shows will probably be way better because the writers will be able to change a few jokes that bombed, and the actors will have had essentially one more runthrough before their west coast performance. That’s great for us out west, but the majority of the American audience will then see the inferior version.

By eliminating the editing process you also eliminate a major step in improving a show. I can’t tell you how many episodes I’ve worked on that came way up in quality or were literally saved by editing. Besides hiding a plethora of blemishes, you can greatly improve the pace. And pace in comedy is key.

Personally, I wouldn’t want to produce a live weekly sitcom.  Too many things I couldn't control.  But that’s me. Cathy & Josh are terrific and I’m sure will do a great job.

Of course, the ultimate irony is that with DVR’s, even though the show will be live, most people will still see it on tape.

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My version of SUPERBOY

Here’s another chapter in my saga of the Superman legend if a Jewish couple had found him in the cornfield. The first part is here. A breakdown of how I wrote it is here. Now we jump forward to when the young lad is a teenager. I won’t be breaking down this scene, but based on the other, hopefully you can glean a little of the thinking that went into constructing this scene.

INT. SUGARMAN KITCHEN – NIGHT (2005)

15-year old, Zvee Sugarman enters with something on his mind. His parents are there – Morris and Yetta.

ZVEE: Mom? Dad? Can we talk?

YETTA: Of course, son.

MORRIS: Did you get that Lane girl in trouble?

ZVEE: What? No! We’re just friends.

MORRIS: I don’t like her. Who names their kid Lois? So you were saying, Zvee?

Zvee joins them at the table.

ZVEE: I don’t know how to say this, but… I think I’m different from the other kids.

Morris and Yetta share a knowing look, then:

YETTA: (gently) You are, son. We didn’t want to say anything, but you are.

MORRIS: You’re Jewish.

ZVEE: Huh? No. It’s not that.

MORRIS: Of course it’s that. We’re Jews in Kansas. Come Christmas time we’re the only family in the whole goddamn state that doesn’t get a tree.

ZVEE: But it’s more than that. I seem to have this unbelievable strength. The other day Lois was spying on some teachers for a story she’s writing for the school paper and she got trapped under a car. I was able to lift an entire SUV with one hand so she could get out.

YETTA: Oh dear!

MORRIS: Jesus!

ZVEE: I know!

MORRIS: Where were you when we needed to move the piano? I had to call those two yokels. Must’ve cost me two-fifty.

YETTA: (to Zvee) It could have just been adrenaline, sweetheart.

ZVEE: No. There’s more. Lois climbed a big tree so she could train a telescope on a local judge she was spying on for a story and she slipped and fell. I was at the other end of the park but I heard her and in one leap I was there to catch her.

YETTA: Really? You leaped like one mile in a single bound?

MORRIS: I’m telling you, stay away from that girl. She’s poison!

ZVEE: It’s bizarre. Once everyone left I tried to leap again – just to see how far I could go. And you’re not going to believe this but… I can fly. I can actually fly.

YETTA: Oh my God!

MORRIS: You can fly?

ZVEE: What does this mean?

MORRIS: Well, for us – we don’t have to buy you a car.

At the time of the crash they never entertained this option but now…

YETTA: Morris, I’m starting to think –

MORRIS: What? That that rocket actually came from outer space? That’s cuckoo talk!

ZVEE: Huh? What?

It’s truth time. Yetta takes a deep breath, then:

YETTA: Zvee, son. You know of course that you were adopted.

ZVEE: Yeah. From a couple in Israel that gave me up because they were both Nobel Prize winning scientists who needed to continue their vital research in helping Jerry’s kids.

YETTA: Yes, well… we might’ve embellished the story just a wee bit.

ZVEE: So what’s the real story?

YETTA: You were born on another planet and sent to earth in a spaceship.

ZVEE: Oh, come on!

YETTA: No. It’s true. I myself didn’t realize it until now, but these powers you have – you’re obviously special. I know every Jewish mother says that but none of their children can fly.

ZVEE: Wow. This is a lot to process.

YETTA: Puberty is a confusing time.

MORRIS: But still, the thing that really separates you is that you’re Jewish.

YETTA: Oh Morris!

MORRIS: Hey, for all we know half the country are aliens.

YETTA: That’s ridiculous!

MORRIS: Oh really? Explain Bush getting re-elected!

She waves him off then turns to Zvee.

YETTA: What other powers do you have, son?

ZVEE: Well, bullets bounce off of me.

MORRIS: Someone shot at you?

YETTA: Oh Lord!

ZVEE: Lois wass doing this article on gang violence at the Dairy Queen and said the wrong thing. Fortunately, I was only ten miles away and heard her so I was able to fly over there and get in front before the bullets drilled her.

YETTA: So you can also hear things from long distances?

ZVEE: And see things. The next day when the gang kidnapped her I was able to see through walls and find her location. Oh, and I can blow out fire. Lois fell asleep last week with a cigarette.

MORRIS: Sounds like you and that Lane gal are getting pretty intimate.

ZVEE: Well, I want to be. But she says I still have to earn it.

MORRIS: What? Son, a heads-up. Tomorrow night when she yells “help” ignore it because I will be the one shooting her.

YETTA: The only explanation is that you come from another planet where they have these extraordinary powers. Why they sent you away I do not know. Maybe to protect you.

MORRIS: Maybe Bush attacked them too.

ZVEE: So you’re saying I’m really from another planet?

MORRIS: Everyone has baggage, boy.

YETTA: Zvee, it just occurred to me. You can use these powers for good. To help others, to save lives, stop wars.

ZVEE: I don’t know if I’ll have time. Lois gets into a lot of jams.

MORRIS: Y’know what? The aliens can have you back because you’re an idiot!

YETTA: Morris!

MORRIS: After all he’s done? You’ll pardon my French but she should be going down on him six times a day until the 2012 Olympics!

YETTA:  That’s terrible!

MORRIS: What does it say about this world when a Gentile who plays high school football gets laid but the Jew who can fly and juggle Buicks gets a hardy handshake?

YETTA: Zvee, don’t listen to your father. You go off. You save the world. You become the greatest most respected man on this Earth.

ZVEE: Okay, Mom.

YETTA: But first, get your degree. Always have something to fall back on.

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More photos from the CHEERS reunion party

Most of these are compliments of AP.  Warning:  many of these photos are of writers.  Names you've seen on the screen for years.  But maybe now for the first time you'll be able to put the face with the name.

If you haven't read my re-cap of the night, you can find it here.

The Bouchon Bistro -- ET won't show you this.

Jimmy Burrows and one of his many proteges.

Director Andy Ackerman, Glen Charles, and Sam Simon

Either Glen Charles is dying his hair or that's me with his brother Les.

Peter Casey and Tim "Mad Dog" Berry

Writer Ken Estin and his lovely daughter

Okay, so it wasn't just writers at the party.

Many Perlmans with Jim Burrows.  Rhea on one side and on the other -- writer Heide with her daughter Ruby.

Ted, Shelley, and Nancy O'Dell from ET

The reason there is a CHEERS -- Glen Charles, Jimmy Burrow, and Les Charles.

Writers Dan Staley and Cheri Steinkellner

For those who wondered what "Phoef" looked like -- Phoef Sutton and one of the actors.

Right out of Broadway Danny Rose -- writers Mert Rich, David Isaacs, Brian Pollack, and me.

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The CHEERS 30th Reunion Party

You know it’s a great party when it lasts for six hours. The CHEERS 30th reunion bash Saturday night in Beverly Hills was the perfect blend of laughter, tears, memories, and alcohol. If ever they gave an Emmy for “Best Show Party” (and they really should – it makes as much sense as Best Reality Show Host) Jimmy Burrows and Glen & Les Charles would win that too. It was like my 30th high school reunion except I couldn’t impress anybody that I worked on CHEERS because everybody there worked on CHEERS. We all looked pretty good for thirty years – even the writers.

Me, Glen Charles, David Isaacs

I wore the CHEERS tie I had gotten somewhere. Not many places I can wear that. CHEERS reunions and maybe Comic-Con.

The soiree was held at the Bouchon Bistro so you know the food was going to be better than the Rosendorf wedding at Leonard’s of Great Neck. And it was. No wonder everyone including the busboys have their own shows on the Food Network.

ET was there, so you know it had to be important. For some odd reason they only wanted to shoot footage of the actors. But just knowing I was at an event covered by ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT gave me the warm delusion of still being in the business. I imagine the segment will air tonight following the story on whatever singer Chris Brown beat up over the weekend.

I said to Ted Danson when I greeted him: “Hey, there’s a dead body in the stairwell I think you should look at.” And Ted replied: “I already counted the maggots.” Ted is in his second year starring on CSI.

Spent some time talking to the very busy Shelley Long. She did five movies this year. I haven’t seen five movies this year. When she and Ted chatted it’s like they weren’t Ted Danson and Shelley Long. They were Sam & Diane. And they always will be.

Kirstie looks spectacular. She’s dancing ten hours a day rehearsing for DANCING WITH THE STARS. Former DWTS contestant John Ratzenberger agreed it was grueling. (Oh, the fun we could have had with Cliff the dancing mailman.) Ironically, Bebe Neuwirth, who is a dancer and could win that competition with both legs in a cast hasn’t entered. Forget the babes on REVENGE and SCANDAL. Lilith is still hot, boys!

George Wendt was happy because Notre Dame beat the shit out of the University of Miami. My writing partner, David, was less ecstatic. Rhea was there with her sister, fellow writer Heide Perlman. And you know how on Saturday I talked about their dad being an extra on the show? Happy to report he’s 93 and still going strong. Living off the residuals I’m sure.

Only main cast members missing were Kelsey Grammer (who is out of the country) and Woody Harrelson (I don't know where Woody was, but I'm not sure he knew either).  However, they both sent lovely videos.

Friend of the blog, Jackie Swanson was there. She says a month doesn’t go by when somebody doesn’t sing “Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly” to her.  I'd be slugging people by now but she doesn't mind. Jean Kasem (Loretta) and Paul Willson (Paul) also attended. CHEERS had some pretty great semi-regulars, didn’t they? I didn’t see Fred Dryer (sportscaster Dave), but I see him all the time at the gym so I didn’t feel cheated.

Judy Hart Angelo, who penned the lyrics to the theme song was there.  Who could have possibly predicted thirty years ago that when she wrote "Where everybody knows your name"that she'd be helping to sell State Farm Insurance?

Now that we have iPhones, everyone was taking pictures all night of everyone else. There were a couple of professional photographers hovering. I bet they have sixteen shots of Bebe and Rhea taking photos of other people.

Was seated at a table with enormously talented CHEERS writers – a few of them (Dan O’Shannon, Dan Staley, and Phoef Sutton) are still employed if you can believe it. Lots of laughs and begging the working writers for jobs.

The highlight of the evening came after dinner. Our gracious hosts put together an amazing 38-minute compilation video of the “Best of CHEERS.” It seemed like ten minutes. I can’t begin to express how proud I am to be a part of such an extraordinary body of work. And then how nice to be able to personally thank those responsible.

The video ended with all of our credits, the number of Emmys the show won (28), the number of children born during its eleven-year run (37 – my son Matt was the first. Happy 30th birthday in three weeks, Matt), and a list of those we lost. They deserve recognition in this piece as well. Nicolas Colosanto, David & Lynn Angell, David Lloyd, Jerry Belson, Brandon Tartikoff, Steven Kolzak, Gary Nardino, Linda Burrows, and Maryann Charles.

I should have known better but didn’t. I thought, “Nah, they’re not going to do it.” Sure enough, Jimmy got up and began passing the microphone around for toasts. They were funny, lovely, touching, and very spontaneous because like me, no one thought they’d do this again. Fortunately, these people have all had ample practice in award acceptance speeches. Les Charles said, “Even if CHEERS had only lasted one year it would have been the greatest experience of my life. Of course I’d now be valet parking.” And Jimmy reminded us of the late great Jerry Belson’s toast on the night CHEERS first premiered. Jerry stood up and said, “Y’know, I’ve been on a lot of shows…” and then he sat back down.

Mary Steenburgen & Ted

The toasts finally ended after four strangers spoke.  More circulating and reminiscing until about 1:00 in the morning. You know how people say, “we should get together” but never do? I made a vow to follow up with everyone I said that to. Now let's see if they take my calls.

As I watched the highlights video – filled with pride and counting the number of our episodes they included – I thought, what a tremendous gift. Not only did we all do work we’re extremely proud of, but that work is still being seen and enjoyed today. CHEERS remains on the air in syndication as well as on a few cable networks. DVD’s are available, and now you can watch the entire eleven seasons on Netflix. I invite fans of the show to revisit it, and I especially invite young people who haven’t seen CHEERS to check it out. By the second time you hear the words, “magnificent pagan beast” you’ll be hooked, I promise.

Again, my thanks to Jim Burrows and Glen & Les Charles for a magic night, a career, and those marshmallow party favors. Those were great! See you at THE TORTELLIS reunion.

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Why Week Two is often Weak Two

For most new shows this is the toughest week of the year. Week two.

The phony network hype begins, already heralding the next big hit of the season based on only one airing. The same hype that gleefully proclaimed WHOOPI the smash of the season and COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF the breakout hit of 2005 (and I'm sure you're going, "Huh?  Were those even shows?"). This year they’re saying VEGAS is America's #1 New Drama but I don’t know a single person who's seen it.

All this bogus hype just adds unrealistic pressure. And every showrunner knows -- as tough as it is to do a good pilot -- that’s nothing compared to episode two.

Generally, you have months to write and polish your pilot. You have a week to bang out episode two.

Drama pilots often have big budgets. And big name feature directors. For week two you get the guy who directed a few DEGRASSI HIGHS and instead of spectacular stunts worthy of James Bond movies you must settle for a car that can fishtail.

And good luck spotting movie star executive producers like Hugh Jackman and Salma Hayek in anything but the pilot. They’d lose their invitations to Jeff Katzenberg’s picnic if they appeared in “episodic” television beyond the premiere.

A lot of pilots are “premise pilots” (discussed pretty much to death in this blog) – they show the major events that set the series in motion. For all the advantages of premise pilots, you pay the price week two.  What are they going to do on LAST RESORT?   Invade another island?  Fire another nuclear missile?   On BEWITCHED -- Darren finds out Samantha is also Jewish?

For a while networks were demanding we don’t do premise pilots. So in essence, we were writing a second show AS a pilot which combines the hardest aspects of both assignments. And then our second episode had to be essentially ANOTHER second episode.

People watch the second episode with different expectations. Some saw and loved the pilot and expect the follow-up to be just as good (despite the limitations). Others saw the pilot, are still on the fence but are willing to give the show another try. You have this one last chance to win them over. Gulp! And most people who tune in didn’t see the pilot. You have to get them caught up while not boring the viewers who don’t need a recap. It’s a tough line to straddle. 

Obviously some shows can do the “Previously on…” prelude, but that usually works best on serialized programs. And still on those shows, with big casts, you’re spending half the episode trying to figure out who the hell all these people are and why the main character is named Jack in every series.  (See my attempt to catch up on GAME OF THRONES.)
 
Bottom line: Second shows are a bitch so give ‘em a little slack this week. And Fox fall shows have it even worse. Because of the baseball playoffs their new entries disappear after a couple airings. So when they return they need to present yet another pilot episode. If THE LAST RESORT were on Fox they'd be nuking Europe already just to get you up to speed. Such are the problems facing today’s TV showrunners.

Update: Tomorrow a report on last night's CHEERS 30th reunion party complete with lots of pictures.  It's 10:17 a.m. and I just woke up.  

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The CHEERS names not everyone knows

CHEERS is 30 years old.  Tonight there is a reunion party for those of us honored enough to be part of the show.  Will let you know how it goes.  I wonder if anyone besides me will not have aged in all that time.  Anyway, you all know the stars.  But what about the others who populated the bar?  I thought today I'd recognize them so the next time you watch you will too.
 

First up is Al Rosen -- the old rummy.  Al was really a championship TV wrestler back in the 50’s. He was the MAN WHO SAID SINATRA. Al sometimes needed two or three or eight takes to get his line right but it was always worth it. In one episode we wrote that someone referenced in the comments (“the Big Kiss Off”), he was supposed to come out of the back and deliver a joke. The first two takes he went up on the line. The third take he was perfect and got a big laugh. One problem though. In the first two takes he enters holding a drink. In the third he doesn’t but is holding his hand as if he DID have a drink in it. It looks totally bizarre, but we went with it because he got the line right. If you have the DVD check it out.

The older gentleman always referred to as Phil -- that’s Phil Perlman, Rhea’s dad (pictured left). Once we started giving him lines he listed himself in the credits as Philip Perlman.

Tom Babson wound up becoming a semi-regular. Cliff was always ragging on him for attending law school. Tom at various times was listed as “Tom”, “Tom Babson”, “Tom Ballard”, “Customer #1”, and “Barney”. But you may know him from KNOTS LANDING where he played “Man”.

In the later years, “Paul” also became a semi regular. He’s Paul Willson (pictured right), a gifted comic actor and one of the greatest improv artists I have EVER seen. I put him up there with Robin Williams. I feel bad for Paul because we finally built an episode around him but it was the second to the last one of the series. He pops up on a lot of shows. Always funny.

One of the great sports columnists of all-time, Alan Malamud, sat at the bar for eight or nine shows. Local LA sportscaster, Steve Bailey, had a drink from time to time, as well.

I show up in only one scene in one episode, the last Bar Wars.

All of the customers hoped that their parts would expand and become a series regulars as what happened with John Ratzenberger and George Wendt. It was never to be.

And then there’s the bar patron who was supposed to be a series regular and wound up as just an extra. In the pilot from time to time you see an old woman in the background. This was “Mrs. Littlefield”, a colorful politically opinionated spinster. She had a number of lines in the pilot. But the show was long, her character didn’t really score, and her part was cut. All that remains are a few shots of her here and there.

And finally, in a few episodes my father plays an extra. You’ll see him hitting on 25 year old women. My idea. You're welcome, Dad.

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