For my consideration...

For members of the TV Academy, this is the best time of year. Because this is when we get all the screener DVD’s for shows that hope to be considered for primetime Emmys.

Every day I eagerly check the mail and there are envelopes and boxes containing specials, documentaries, the best episodes of series, mini-series, British series, sometime complete series, and about three dozen programs no one has ever heard of much less seen.

It’s always such a treat despite the fact that I could probably find every single one of them either on Netflix or Hulu or On Demand or the net or my DVR. Still! They’re in my hand. They’re beautifully packaged. And every year there are at least six of these shows I had been meaning to watch but never did. Now I do. And I’m usually rewarded for my efforts. That’s how I discovered DOWNTON ABBEY (although I wasn’t rewarded this year. Ugh!)  

And some channels I don’t get on my cable system so this is my only exposure to their fare. There’s a REELZ network?  I get six Korean channels but no REELZ network. 

The one stipulation is that I not distribute these DVD's to anybody and I dutifully comply. How stupid to get thrown into prison for giving my gardener the HAPPILY DIVORCED DVD? (Of course, the truth is my gardener wouldn’t take the HAPPILY DIVORCED DVD.)

Every year I am mystified by some of the series that submit screeners. Without naming names, they have to KNOW there is no way on God’s green earth that their crappy shows would EVER be nominated for ANYTHING. Why waste the money? Spend it instead on a decent writer. I leaf through some of the entries and howl with laughter (then take out my scissors and cut them in half).

Pretty safe rules: If your show was cancelled after two airings you’re not going to beat MAD MEN for Best Drama. If your cable sitcom has never been nominated in the six years it’s been on the air, it won’t get nominated now. Elaborate packaging does not make jokes funnier.

I also wonder why some shows that are heavily serialized don’t give you the entire series if, in fact, they’re serious. Yes, each episode starts with the PREVIOUSLY ON…. recap. But if you’re not that familiar with the show or characters those things never make sense. You’re saying, “Huh? Who’s that? She’s going to get even with who? Where are we?” I’m especially surprised Netflix only gave out five selected episodes of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT. Huh???  From what I hear, it’s next to impossible to follow this year’s storyline if you watch every episode. Watching random segments would make my head explode.

But at the end of the day, I’m just grateful to be receiving these screeners at all. As the saying goes beggers can’t be choosers although in this case we are. And I have nominated quite a few shows and artists I would not have otherwise had I not seen their screener.  This year it's HOUSE OF CARDS.  They sent the entire season and I am now sooo hooked.  I'll be voting for it in several categories. 

Look, the Emmys are not a just system. Deserving shows and people get stiffed while other lesser-works get nominated solely for their reputation. But the picks are getting better. Would the wondrous Margo Martindale have won her Emmy for JUSTIFIED without screeners? I highly doubt it. So for that reason alone it’s a worthy practice. Now please, PBS, send me the Carole King Gershwin Award special.

Read More

Coming this Fall

As a former showrunner of new shows, one of my constant battles was with the network promotion department. The network never aired enough promos of our show to suit me. I’m sure all showrunners say this (except maybe the WHITNEY guys two years ago – I’m surprised NBC isn’t still promoting it even after canceling it).

And when networks do run your promo, in which show do they air it in? Getting a pop on THE VOICE is way better than SAVE ME. Every new comedy on ABC wants exposure on MODERN FAMILY, not MALIBU COUNTRY. And of course promoting your show on Saturday night is like someone making announcements in an empty theater.

Also, do you get a :30 second promo or :10? Do you get your own promo or are you just lumped in with the rest of that night’s lineup? (although the Sunday night promo ABC did last year was smashing!)

Now at least there are promos and trailers of all the new shows on network websites. So if there’s a particular show you’re curious about you don’t have to wait for ABC to run a promo in HOW TO LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS. But the big “get” is the new viewer, the one unaware of your show. And still the best exposure is over the air (at least for now).  

One of the reasons why networks soo overpay to carry NFL football is that (a) the games attract viewers who don’t normally watch your network, and (b) viewers are watching a live sporting event so they can’t fast forward through the commercials.  They’ll actually see your promo.

Getting your new show noticed is even harder today because there is such a glut of them. So many networks, so many shows, so many staggered premiers. In the old days (when dinosaurs ruled the earth and Joan Rivers had her original face) we waited all summer with great anticipation for the new TV season. We lived for the promos. In late summer the networks (only three of them back then and fire was still a new concept) would stage special preview shows where they screened clips of all their new series. These specials generally were the highest rated shows of the week. NBC called their premier period NBC WEEK and sent out souvenir booklets. I wrote away for one every year. The day it arrived was always a big day (and yes, I had no life). I would guess that more people sent away for that booklet in 1965 than actually watch NBC today.

Exactly what the network chooses to show in the promo is another bone of contention. They tend to give away plot surprises and feature jokes that make no sense out of context. Yes, they got big laughs but you have to know who the characters are and what the set up was. Promo people often see that a certain joke got the biggest laugh and use it. How many times have you seen a promo and gone “Huh? What the fuck was that?”

Sadly, the trend in hyping sitcoms today is to showcase the most crass jokes they can find. On my shows I tend to be very sparing on low road jokes. Every so often one will feel appropriate to the scene or situation and I’ll let it go, but I always cringe when I see it on the air and always kick myself for not cutting it. I like to be proud of my work and I’m not proud of those easy laughs. And then when the network zeroes in on those jokes I really feel mortified. (Somehow I imagine producers of certain shows don't share my guilt over going with a cheap vagina joke.)

Pilots are incredibly hard to do well. You have to establish the premise, introduce the characters, tell a story, set the tone, and be funny – all in 22 minutes. Now imagine trying to accomplish all that when you only have :30 seconds. This is one of the big reasons why networks like to stack their new shows with established stars. You may not know what the show is about but Michael J. Fox is in it.

God forbid you don’t have an established name at the forefront of your series. Although the breakout hit shows generally feature new discoveries, networks prefer the safety of Will Arnett and Brad Garrett. So the star-driven shows will get more promos and hype. You may have a better show without stars but you’ll have a tougher go of things.

To a certain extent, the tail has always wagged the dog. How easily a show can be promoted is a major consideration for getting picked up. But hey, it’s like that in features too. I pitched a comedy screenplay once and the executive asked, “what are five great trailer moments?” Nothing about the story or characters – just trailer moments. What will the one-sheet (poster) look like? I guess the only difference is, in television the question is now: “What are two great trailer moments?”

Good luck to all the showrunners. You’re eight kittens fighting over the same sock. But it’s amazing how fast you go from “I’m just thrilled to be on the schedule!” to “I’m really getting screwed!”

Read More

The 101 Best Written TV Series

The WGA just announced its 101 BEST WRITTEN TV SERIES OF ALL TIME. Proud to say that shows I wrote for finished 5th (MASH), 8th (CHEERS), 11th (THE SIMPSONS) and 23rd (FRASIER). We’ll never know if they would have ranked higher had I not written for them. But seriously, I’d consider it a tremendous honor just to be associated with one show on this list, much less four. And to have all four in the top 25. Wow.

Here is the complete list.

Some random thoughts:

I wonder how many writers who have contributed so much to the success of these gold standard shows can’t get work today.

Anytime you put a list together and rank them you’re going to get disagreement. Especially when you’re combining genres. You have BAND OF BROTHERS just above LAUGH IN. How often is SESAME STREET and OZ on the same chart?  Personally, I think FRASIER should  have been higher but I'm not exactly an objective bystander. 

I have no quarrel with any of the top ten. Yes, there are some other shows equally as deserving, but I can’t think of one of the chosen ten I’d slide down to accommodate something else.

Shows from the early days of television generally don’t get their due. Voters aren’t as familiar with them, don’t take into consideration their impact at the time, and don’t appreciate them as much because styles change and they now may seem dated. YOUR SHOW OF SHOWS was not only hugely popular in its day, it was a major reason why many people bought their first televisions. It helped create the industry. And yet it’s ranked only 41. Another example: LATE NIGHT with David Letterman made it but THE TONIGHT SHOW with Johnny Carson didn’t? Not to mention THE TONIGHT SHOW with Steve Allen.

When I was a radio DJ in the ‘70s, stations would often ask listeners to send in their three favorite all-time songs and they would be compiled for a BEST 300 SONGS OF ALL-TIME countdown (usually on holiday weekends). We’d receive thousands of post cards. And the songs most listed were the current hits. Really? Your favorite all-time song is “The Night Chicago Died?” So what we did was just throw out all the post cards and make up the list ourselves. At least the WGA survey was put together by industry writers. Otherwise, THE VOICE might be considered the best written series.

There will always be slights. Personally, I thought WINGS was better written than a number of the sitcoms that did make the list. Same with BUFFALO BILL, RHODA, BECKER, and MAUDE. I’m sure one or two of your all-time faves that didn’t make the cut. But if the chart was the top 202 BEST WRITTEN TV SERIES there would still be four deserving ones left off.

I was thrilled that some shows that weren’t mega hits still found their way onto the list. MY SO CALLED LIFE for one.

I wouldn’t know where to place SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE because there were years it was the best written show on television and years it was the worst.

And finally, if there are shows on this list that you are not familiar with, treat yourself.  Seek them out.  I hope THE DEFENDERS is available somewhere.  But between Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, and a number of nostalgia channels like Cozi, MeTV, and Antenna TV you should be able to track a fair number of these gems down.

And once again.  It's an honor to be among the exceptional writers whose work appears on this list. Even the ones who can't get arrested. 

Read More

The one Kickstarter celebrity campaign I can support

I know I've been down on actors taking advantage of their notoriety to get money from fans on Kickstarter, but suddenly a project has come along that's so important, so VITAL that even I have to change my tune.

Zosia and Clara Mamet, daughters of poverty stricken playwright, David Mamet, need $32,000 to make a music video of their original song.  Zosia, of course, is one of the girls on GIRLS and even had Lena Dunham tweet all her millions of followers urging them to contribute to this most worthy cause.

Get a Kleenex ready when you hear this.   Zosia (who obviously makes no money co-starring in an HBO series) and her sister need a way to bond.  And they thought a great way to do that is make a $32,000 music video together of an original song that they wrote and sang.   And here's the part that will melt your heart -- it's not for them -- it's a way to share their music with YOU.   How can you not love these selfless waifs?

Now here's the shocking thing:  even with such a noble cause, even with Lena Dunham's endorsement, they've raised like $1,000 from forty-one backers.  VERONICA MARS raised more than two million in that same amount of time.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

HAVE YOU NO HEART?

Clearly, there is no other way in the world for these two sisters to bond!  Otherwise, why would they possibly ask YOU to give them your money?   Plus, they're only half-sisters.  Doesn't that make it all the more poignant?   Half-sisters for godsakes!

What's that you say?  They're privileged girls from a well-to-do heavily-connected family and their song is trite and sounds like it was written in a matter of minutes (which they admit it was)?  You're missing the point.  They wanna. 

The campaign ends June 9th.  Here is their Kickstarter video.  Listen to passion in their voices, listen to their emotional plea, listen to their music.  And if you're like me, if you have even an ounce of humanity and love for your fellow man, you'll give generously so that these girls have something to do one afternoon.

Read More

RIP Jean Stapleton

There would be no ALL IN THE FAMILY without Jean Stapleton. Edith Bunker passed away yesterday at age 90. Archie Bunker – played so masterfully by Caroll O’Connor – was the most bigoted, crude character television comedy had ever seen (up until that time). Forget how funny he was. The audience needs some cue to know it’s okay to laugh. Otherwise, they just hate him and that’s that. O’Connor couldn’t provide that. How could he when he was calling everybody spics and heebs and worse? Yes, there was the other side of Archie. He was a man panicked because the only world he knew was changing and he had no idea what his place in it would be. But audiences could just as easily say, “So what? We all have our issues. We don’t go around blaming everyone else for our problems. You’re just an asshole.”

So why did we accept Archie Bunker?

Because Edith loved him. Because the person with the kindest heart on the planet knew he wasn’t really hateful, he was just railing. We loved her and if she loved him then he couldn’t be so bad after all.

Archie called her a dingbat but as I’ve said many times in this blog, it takes great smarts to play dumb. Look at Gracie Allen and Judy Holliday. Both made careers playing dumb and both had IQ’s off the charts. Jean Stapleton was as sharp as they came. Her comic timing and delivery was impeccable. And she was such an accomplished actress that she could still sell the emotion and make it real. She could make you laugh and pull at your heartstrings – all at the same time. That’s a remarkable accomplishment. The greatest writer in the world can’t make that happen unless the actor can. Jean Stapleton was a treasure.   We laughed at Archie and tolerated Archie but we adored Edith.

And Edith Bunker was but one of her many roles in an illustrious career that began when she was only 18. So many memorable performances. Her portrayal of Eleanor Roosevelt was bravura, and could there be two more divergent characters than Eleanor Roosevelt and Edith Bunker?

I never had the pleasure of meeting her. I have no personal recollections. She was always highly regarded, and (from what I understand) a dream to work with. She won three Emmys and numerous other awards. She was recognized in her time. But I don’t think she’ll be fully appreciated for what she did. She alone was the key to the success of ALL IN THE FAMILY.

RIP Jean Stapleton. You will never be stifled in our hearts.

Read More

It was 46 years ago today...

...that the Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club album by the Beatles was released. Here's what I said about it in my book (which you could and SHOULD buy here for a ridiculously low price): 

It's June 1, 1967 and I'm a teenager working at Wallichs Music City, a record store in the San Fernando Valley...

In June a ton of boxes from Capital Records arrived. Inside was the new Beatles album – Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. Hurriedly, we put it on in the store and I was completely knocked out by it. So innovative and original and groundbreaking. It’s hard to believe how much they had grown as musicians. Just three years ago they were singing, “She Loves You/ Yeah Yeah Yeah” and now they’re doing “Day in the Life” complete with its complex arrangement, full orchestra, and audio effects never before heard. Music historians will tell you this was the album that defined psychedelic rock and maybe the decade itself. All I know is this: we played Sgt. Pepper’s continuously that summer. Nothing else. Just Sgt. Pepper’s. I must’ve heard it 500 times that summer, maybe a thousand.

And I never got tired of it.

Still to this day, I could listen to Sgt. Pepper’s on a continuous loop. I can’t say that about any other album I’ve ever heard.

Sgt. Pepper also generated a fair amount of controversy because of its lyrics. There was much speculation that there were drug references hidden in them; “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” – LSD being the most obvious. Drug reference lyrics became the rage in this period. The Jefferson Airplane’s “White Rabbit,” Jimi Hendrix’s “Purple Haze” are just two of many examples. Donovan made a career out of stringing non-sequiturs together that people interpreted as deeply meaningful.

Electrical bananas are sure to be the very next phase.

They weren't.  But Sgt. Pepper's is still a best-selling album/CD/download/rip today.   Worth revisiting.   Or discovering for the first time.  Plug in a banana, have a toke, and enjoy.

Read More

When my mind (and everything else) was in the sewer

Here's an episode of JUST SHOOT ME I directed. Things to look for: Lisa Edelstein guests. I had an orangutan to deal with, a water stunt, and a special glow-in-the-dark effect. All in front of a studio audience.

The orangutan was somewhat unpredictable. You'd give him an acting note and he'd forget it. I told the cast to just stay in character if he did anything bizarre, and I told the camera crew that if they saw him doing something strange stay on him -- don't go to your next mark. I can always come back and pick it up later. As a result we caught some magic. My favorite moments are the monkey dragging a chair and looking up Wendie's dress.

After the audience left I had planned to do a bunch of pick ups with the orangutan and his trainer said I had about ten minutes because it was nearing his bedtime.  I asked, "What happens if he stays up past his bedtime?"  The answer: "He gets mad and bites everybody."   Ohhh-kay.  Ed Wood never directed scenes so fast. 

It's a fun episode written by Andy Gordon & Eileen Conn, called (appropriately enough) "Sewer."

Read More