My recommended reading list

 A number of you have asked what books/articles/plays I'm having my USC comedy class read.   So here's the list.  I recommend these to you too. 

Required Reading---

John Kennedy Toole – Confederacy of Dunces
Neil Simon – Odd Couple (play)

Recommended Reading --

John Vorhaus – The Comic Toolbox
Dan O’Shannon – What Are You Laughing At?
Ken Levine – Blog: KenLevine.blogspot.com  (archives)
Woody Allen – Without Feathers
Woody Allen – Getting Even
Tad Friend - “What’s So Funny?”
John Morreall – “Historical Theories of Laughter”
Henri Bergson – Laughter, An Essay on the Meaning of the Comic
Steve Martin – Born Standing Up
Douglas McKwan -- My Lush Life
Tina Fey – Bossypants
Marc Maron – Attempting Normal
Andy Goldberg – Improv Comedy

What I expect to happen is this:  You'll recommend a bunch of other ones.  That's great.  Some of your suggestions you may feel are be better than what's listed above, but I have reasons for each selection.   In any event, you can't go wrong.  And I'm not making anyone read Beowulf. 

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In the year 5774

Today is the Jewish High Holiday. It's the day of atonement. A chance to reflect and ask forgiveness for our sins and transgressions over the past year. In my case, all my Whitney Cummings cracks. It's a day of fasting (Jewish tradition has it that on all holidays you either fast or eat way too much), spiritual reconnection, and taking a break from your daily responsibilities (I will not be hosting SNL tonight out of respect to my faith and because no one asked me to.)

Staying out of work and school is not always easy or convenient.

I'm reminded of Sandy Koufax not pitching the first game of the 1965 World Series because it was Yom Kippur. Don Drysdale pitched instead. The Minnesota Twins bombed him. He was lifted in the third inning. As Dodger manager, Walter Alston came out to the mound to get him, Drysdale said, "Yeah, Skip, I know what you're thinking. Why couldn't HE be Jewish?"

To all who observe: Happy 5774 (which means Mel Brook's 2000 year-old man is now really 3764).

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Friday (the 13th) Questions

Read if you dare.

willieb leads off:

On a recent road trip I saw a Frasier from the last season that was "Written By David Issacs" -- no Ken Levine! Was there a definite point where you went your separate ways as writers, or did you just drift apart? Did you write any scripts solo or did you concentrate on baseball and directing?

First off, we’re still partners and have written a number of things together after FRASIER went off the air.  The most fun I have writing is when I'm doing a script with David.

But we have always been a partnership out of choice not dependence. During that FRASIER period I was doing a lot of directing and we each wrote a couple of episodes on our own.

Partnerships stay together if the members allow each other to grow. I wanted to get into directing. David had no desire to direct. When asked why he facetiously says, “Because I never want to make more than two decisions in any one day.”

His FRASIER episodes are terrific, by the way.  He wrote a two-parter called "Shutdown in Seattle."  Check 'em out.  

Joseph M. asks:

Would you please explain the difference between Christopher Lloyd the actor and Christopher Lloyd, the writer?

Christopher Lloyd the writer (pictured: left) is writer David Lloyd’s son. He is the co-creator of MODERN FAMILY after being a showrunner of FRASIER for many years and Emmys.

Christopher Lloyd the actor played Reverend Jim on TAXI and Dr. Emmett Brown in BACK TO THE FUTURE.

They’re not related.  I'm sure they get each others mail.

From Damien Galeone:

Mr Levine, prolific comedy writer William Froug said that "If you can write hard comedy, you'll need a skiploader to haul your millions away, and soft comedy and a dollar will buy you a cup of coffee."

I was wondering if you might answer what the difference is between 'soft' and 'hard' comedy?

Hard comedy evokes outright laughter. Soft comedy evokes warm smiles of recognition.

Hard comedy tends to be jokes and physical bits; soft comedy is often observational or small bits of relatable behavior.

Looking at most of today’s comedies that are single-camera and rely more of irony and behavior I’d say the soft comedy writer can treat everybody at Starbucks these days.

But the bottom line is this:  fewer people can write hard comedy than soft.  

Simon queries:

When you worked on Cheers and Dharma & Greg, did Kirstie Alley or Jenna Elfman try to recruit you or any of the cast and crew into their creepy brainwashing cult? You know what I'm referring to. The cult of ... watching reality TV. I hear they're big fans of the genre.

What did you think I was referring to?

Yes, I know what you are referring to and the answer is no.

Neither Jenna nor Kirstie nor any actor has ever tried to convert me to anything.  I had a ballplayer try to convert me in a big way and I might've listened if the fucking guy could hit. 

But I have worked with a number of thespians who I don’t see eye to eye with on religion or politics or anything, and I’ve never had a problem. Putting our differences aside, they’re lovely people and wonderful actors. What they do on their own time is their business.

DwWashburn asks:

Ia there ever animosity between members of a writing staff or other people that work "behind the scenes" as to the pay of actors on successful shows? Without the writers they would have nothing to say, without the directors they would have no place to stand, without the camera people they would not be able to be seen, without lighting they couldn't be seen, etc.

I can't speak for everybody but being realistic -- yeah, sure.  It's human nature.  

Honestly, I’m only resentful if they’re not good actors. If they’re wildly successful simply due to luck or their looks than yes, that pisses me off.

But here’s the thing – the hoops actors have to go through to reach that pinnacle is staggering. The odds of winning a state lottery are better. The amount of rejection they endure, the uncertainty and lack of security they face is practically paralyzing. God bless the very few who beat the odds.

Also, when I see the skill and craft and technique that goes into giving a good performance I know I could never do that. So it’s not like these actors are taking money away from me.

Let’s be real – networks and studios don’t pay actors big money unless they bring in bigger money. Either they can open a movie or attract a big television audience. And the minute they can’t, their salaries plummet. That’s a lot of pressure, especially when times change and the audience is always looking for the next big thing.

So I save my resentment for other people.

What’s your question?

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The insanity of political correctness continues

 WARNING:  This is another of my rants.

Now apparently there is a group demanding no one can make fun of people who are on gluten-free diets. Did you know that folks who are avoiding gluten in their meals are being ostracized? This sounds like a sketch but it’s real.

The Disney Channel has pulled an episode of their sitcom, JESSIE, because angry parents made a huge stink when derogatory jokes were made about kids who needed gluten-free diets. The episode first appeared on line and Disney responded by pulling the episode off the air.

Here’s one of the offensive jokes. A character says to the dieter: “You call me sweetie again, and you'll be eating some gluten-free knuckles.”

Ohmygod! How could anyone allow that on television?

Yes, gluten-free diets are necessary for people with celiac disease. And I’m sure they’re a pain in the ass. This is not a choice, it’s a burden they’re stuck with. And when it’s so important for kids to fit in, anything that isolates them is like a scarlet letter. As someone who was an outcast and geek in school myself, I can totally empathize.

But come on. Where do we draw the line? The jokes weren’t malicious. At worst they were glib. Have we become so overly sensitive that gluten-free diets are now an incendiary topic?

Where are the asthma zealots? Their activists are dropping the ball. There’s an episode of LEAVE IT TO BEAVER where one of Beaver’s friends has an inhaler. Shouldn’t that be yanked off the air the way AMOS AND ANDY was? I think there’s also an inhaler joke in THE WONDER YEARS. Burn the negatives!

Comedy needs to have edge. It needs to ruffle some feathers. When we’re so afraid of offending anybody we might as well not even do comedy.

You kill the sacred cow; you kill the golden goose.

I will happily grant you that we have a responsibility not to be overly cruel. There are lines of good taste and if we have any humanity we need to observe those lines. There was a big discussion of that just this last weekend in this blog.  But we also need to lighten up. And we as comedy writers (I refrain from using the pretentious word – artist) can’t walk on eggshells. We can’t self-censor ourselves in fear that some whacko parent group will protest. Because here’s the thing: no matter what you write someone will take issue.

I was at a Dodger game recently, sitting in the press box. Nancy Bea Hefly, the stadium organist played the MASH theme between innings, a sweet little nod to me. Well, it so happened the Dodgers had a Korean pitcher working that night. And Nancy Bea got an angry note from someone that by playing the MASH theme she was being disrespectful to the Korean community. Huh??? First of all, we on MASH went out of our way to be respectful of the Korean community. Korean leaders in town praised our portrayal of their culture. And second – really? The stadium organist has an ax to grind and is playing a song to belittle a community? This is insanity!

Now I expect a flood of angry comments (most of them by “anonymous”). I’m insensitive. I have no compassion. This is yet another example of how irresponsible I am. What if a child read this blog? By inference I must also condone torture (I got those trolls when I had the audacity to like ZERO DARK THIRTY).  I’d make fun of handicapped kids too. I’m not funny was never funny. I’m in bed with the insidious Gluten industry. I’m too old to understand anything. This is why I’m no longer producing television shows. And this is proof I have it in for Woody Allen.

But once we can’t make fun of anything we’re on a comedy-free diet. And at the moment there are no activists for us. So please, have a little compassion for me.

By the way, there is a gluten-free dating site.  I'd make jokes except... y'know...

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9/11 and David & Lynn Angell

I re-post this every year on this date and always will. 

9/11 affected us all, profoundly and in many cases personally. Two of my dear friends were on flight 11. David and Lynn Angell. There hasn’t been a day I haven’t thought of them, missed them, and not felt grateful that they were in my life.

David and I worked together on CHEERS, WINGS, and FRASIER (the latter two he co-created). We used to call him the “dean”. In his quiet way he was the one we always looked to for final approval of a line or a story direction. He brought a warmth and humanity to his writing that hopefully rubbed off on the rest of us “schickmeisters”. And he could be funny – sneaky funny. During long rewrite sessions he tended to be quiet. Maybe two or three times a night he’d pitch a joke – but they were always the funniest jokes of the script.

For those of you hoping to become comedy writers yourselves, let David Angell be your inspiration. Before breaking in he worked in the U.S. Army, the Pentagon, an insurance firm, an engineering company, and then when he finally moved out to L.A. he did “virtually every temp job known to man” for five years. Sometimes even the greatest talents take awhile to be recognized.

I first met David the first season of CHEERS. He came in to pitch some stories. He had been recommended after writing a good NEWHART episode. This shy quiet man who looked more like a quantum physics professor than a comedy writer, slinked into the room, mumbled through his story pitches, and we all thought, “is this the right guy? He sure doesn’t seem funny.” Still, he was given an assignment (“Pick a con…any con”) and when the script came back everyone was just blown away. He was quickly given a second assignment (“Someone single, someone blue”) and that draft came back even better. I think the first order of business for the next season was to hire David Angell on staff.

After 9/11, David’s partners Peter Casey & David Lee called me and my partner into their office. There was a FRASIER script David Angell was about to write. (It was the one where Lilith’s brother arrived in a wheelchair and became an evangelist. Michael Keaton played the part.) Peter & David asked if we would write it and for me that was a greater honor than even winning an Emmy.

David’s wife, Lynn, was also an inspiration. She devoted her life to helping others – tirelessly working on creating a children’s library and a center that serves abused children.

My heart goes out to their families. To all of the families.

I still can’t wrap my mind around it.

So tragic, so senseless, and even twelve years later, so inconceivable.

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Remembering Cal Worthington

Los Angeles lost another one of its local TV celebrities. Cal Worthington passed away. He was 92. He owned car dealerships in southern California and advertised constantly on local stations. You couldn’t watch an old late night movie without it being interrupted by a Cal Worthington commercial.

In the early days of TV he did the commercials live. Wearing a big cowboy hat and delivering his spiel in a homespun drawl Cal implored you to get down to Bellflower or Downey or wherever the hell he was and buy this Ford or Dodge or whatever car he was selling on that channel. Ten minutes later you’d switch to a different station and he’d be in South Gate or Long Beach selling some other model.

And he’d always break it at just the worst time. Bogart gets shot, he’s lying in a pool of blood – cut to Cal, grinning, chuckling, saying “howdy friends!”

No kid in Los Angeles born in the ‘50s ever saw GODZILLA without Cal Wrothington in the middle of it.

And yet, even with these intrusions, we loved him. Why? Because he never took himself too seriously.

There was a competing TV car huckster named Chick Lambert. He always had his dog, Storm with him. So Cal introduced his dog “Spot.” Except it was never a dog. It was a tiger or a lion or a monkey or a snake or a member of the Los Angeles Rams.

And he had this inane jingle – “Go See Cal.” Lyrics included “I will stand up on my head/till my ears are turning red/Go See Cal/Go See Cal/Go See Cal.”  If you lived in Los Angeles for more than 24 hours you could sing that jingle. 

As corny and goofy as these techniques were, he sold more cars than anybody. Make no mistake, he was a smart cookie. He understood the value of advertising, showmanship, and sound business practices. He was also a decorated war hero in WWII.

Cal was pretty much the last of our local TV pitchmen. All markets had them. They were colorful characters who sold everything from cars to carpeting. They wore outlandish costumes and had various shticks. There was some car dealer in Minneapolis whose tag line was, “Bring the wife so we can dicker.”

Of course, back in those days you had either the three networks or a few independent channels. There was no thousand channel universe.  And how were these non-network stations going to fill 20 hours of programming every day? For the most part they did it with old movies. You could find John Wayne on at least one station at any given day and time. And sure enough, just when he was about to shoot the bad guy, there would be smiling Cal Worthington riding in on a pig. You don’t get that pleasure with Netflix.

Cal Worthington was 92 (I’m sure marked down from 98). He was an original and reminder of simpler more innocent times. R.I.P. Cal.  Here’s a sample of his commercials (or should I say “Spots?”)

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If I were on SHARK TANK

In honor of SHARK TANK week on ABC, here's how I envision the segment if I were on...
 
"SHARK TANK, where amateur entrepreneurs pitch their projects to millionaire sharks who will invest their own money if they like the idea. Who are the sharks?"

Robert Herjavec – son of an immigrant who looks good on television and already dyes his hair.

Kevin O'Leary – Known as “Mr. Wonderful.” Simon Cowell-villain who has savvy, greed, and if he we were Jewish anti-Semitism would skyrocket in this country.

Daymond John – Fashion mogul who never has an original thought.

Mark Cuban -- (Dallas) Maverick billionaire eccentric who plays the boyish card although the years are closing in.

Lori Greiner – QVC funder/MILF who is attractive and well-coiffed but in danger of looking like Jamie McCourt.

The sharks sit in large overstuffed chairs in a set filled with aquariums. The entrepreneur enters. He is a schleppy guy who could not look more geeky and out-of-his-element. He stands before them.

DAYMOND: I’m out.

MARK: You haven’t even heard him yet.

DAYMOND: I sell wool hats with their tops cut off and tied with string. I don’t have any real money. I look good and I don’t scare people like Spike Lee.

ROBERT (to schlepper): Please. Go on.

SCHLEPPER (reciting a spiel he’s obviously rehearsed but not enough): Hi, Sharks! My name is Ken Levine and I’ve solved the problem of men watching late night ads on TV but not picking up the phone to buy. This is an idea I had one night while channel surfing. I see all these ads for record offers or juice blenders and I think “I just got paid so I have all this money. And the rent isn’t due for eight hours so I have to spend it somewhere. But what to buy? I don’t want the greatest 100 novelty songs of the ‘70s or blueberry smoothies I can eat for breakfast instead of last night’s leftover Hamburger Helper. What to do? What to do? And then it hit me, what do I want? What do all men want? So Sharks, I have created the Nympho-mercial. These are girls who will have sex with you and here’s the best part – since they’re nymphomaniacs and want to have sex anyway, I don’t have to pay them. I’m looking for $300,000 for 5% of my company.

DAYMOND: Do you have any samples?

LORI: Daymond, you’re out already.

DAYMOND; I might get back in.

KEN: Yes, I do have samples.

Four slutty girls and one Chippendale dancer enter.

KEN: This is Minx, Clitoria, Sarah-Jessica, Tammi, and Derek.

DAYMOND; I’ll take Derek.

MR. WONDERFUL: Then you’re really out.

KEN: Uh, I think Derek is for Lori.

LORI: Yeah.

The guests climb into the Sharks’ laps. Minx runs her fingers through Robert’s hair.

MINX: My dad uses this color.

As they guests begin to kiss and fondle the Sharks we:

CUT TO:

Moments later we return.  The "samples" are gone.  The Sharks are now more relaxed, their wardrobe askew… except for Daymond who obviously was unmoved.

ROBERT: Do you have any patents pending?

KEN: On what? They’re prostitutes.

MR. WONDERFUL: What’s to prevent me from calling all the girls I’ve gone to and putting together a competing business?

KEN: These are attractive prostitutes.

DAYMOND: Do these prostitutes need hats?

MARK: What’s your business model, Ken?

KEN: Well, I haven’t gotten the capital to actually go on television yet, which is why I need you guys, so – after expenses – I've made a little over four hundred dollars.

MR. WONDERFUL: Yet, you value the company at $6,000,000?

LORI: Can I get Derek and Clitoria?

KEN: There’s a big difference between being on national television and stopping people outside of Pep Boys.

ROBERT: Look, I love prostitutes, and I like you. I think you’ve got a great idea here  and the fact that you don’t have to pay the girls is genius. I could easily see this taking off in a big way. And for that reason, I’m out.

KEN: Huh? I thought you liked it.

ROBERT: I do.

KEN: Then why are you out?

ROBERT: Because I’m always out. But if I were ever going to go in, this is the one I would go in on. But I’m not. Unless someone wants to go in on it with me?

MARK: Talk to me.

ROBERT: You put in $295,000 and I’ll cover the rest.

LORI: I really need to see Derek again before I decide. Where is that juicy slap of beef?

MARK: Hmm, Robert, that’s interesting. Let me think about it a second.

ROBERT: Then forget it. I’m out.

DAYMOND: Ken, are you in any big box stores?

KEN: What do you mean? Like Costco? Why would I be in Costco. These are whores you order over the telephone.

DAYMOND: So no plans to be in Best Buy?  I'm doubly out.

LORI: Is anyone else hot in here?

MR. WONDERFUL: Look, there’s a story about two badgers and one has hidden a lot of acorns inside a hollow tree while the other ate his acorns as he went along. You, my friend, are the acorn, I’m the first badger, and in another day there will be snow.

KEN: Huh? What the hell does that have to do with anything?

MR. WONDERFUL; The point is, you’re providing a service industry in a media-driven environment.

KEN: So what does that have to do with badgers? And what does that even mean?

MARK: Okay, let me make this simple for you. I get what you’re doing, Ken. What I think we could do is build the business and then sell it to a major conglomerate like Time-Warner or the Catholic Church.

MR. WONDERFUL: Now you’re the first badger.

MARK: Shut up.

LORI: Does anyone mind if I take off my top? I’m wearing a sports bra.

She peels off her blouse.

MARK: So I’m willing to give you the $300,000 for 5% of your company – what you asked for – but you have to give me freebies for all my Mavericks season-ticket holders.

KEN: Gee, that sounds great. Half of my girls are Mavericks’ cheerleaders anyway.

LORI: Derek, I’ll give you 10% of QVC. Where is he?

DAYMOND: I’ll give you hats, Derek. Many many hats.

MR. WONDERFUL: Wait a minute, Kenny. You haven’t heard my offer.

KEN: Okay?

LORI: Look how tan my belly is.

MR. WONDERFUL: If you take Mark’s deal you’re an idiot. You might as well take your acorns and set them on fire.

KEN: So what’s your deal?

ROBERT: I’m out.

MARK: We know that.

ROBERT: I just want to participate.

MR. WONDERFUL: Ken, my boy… I’ll give you the $300,000 but I want 90% of the company and I need to recoup my money so I get ten dollars for every transaction and we run the operation out of my rumpus room.

ROBERT: Okay. Mr. Wonderful’s deal I can go for. I’m in for $5,000.

KEN: You’ve gotta be kidding me?

ROBERT: Okay. I’m out.

KEN: (to Mr. Wonderful): Why would anyone take that deal?

MR. WONDERFUL: You see the nimrods we get on this show? Squirrel tasers. Soup bricks. Camouflage wedding attire. Plenty of people with real good ideas can’t get on because these dimwits are more entertaining. So I offer these deals because I can and they take them and are thrilled.

KEN: Fine. Mr. Wonderful, you’ve got a deal.

MR. WONDERFUL:  I do?  

EVERYONE: What?! Huh? Are you (bleeping) kidding me?

Mr. Wonderful comes up and hugs Ken. Lori comes up and hugs Ken.

KEN: I want the check right now.

MR. WONDERFUL: Gladly.  Before you change your mind.

He whips out his checkbook, writes Ken a check and Ken exits. Once he’s out of earshot.

ROBERT: Wow. Never saw that coming.

DAYMOND: You say that every week.

ROBERT: Yeah, but this time I mean it.

MR. WONDERFUL: What a sucker!

MARK: You realize, no station will air something called a Nympho-mercial?

MR. WONDERFUL: What?

DAYMOND: And prostitution is illegal in this country.

MR. WONDERFUL: Oh shit!  You played me!

MARK:  Yeah.  I kinda did.

ROBERT:  So I was right to be out for once?

MARK (to Mr. Wonderful): And you just gave him $300,000.

MR. WONDERFUL:  HOLY SHIT!!!

Mr. Wonderful runs out the room yelling for Ken.

CUT TO:

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