Infuriating rejections

Getting rejected is part of the game in Hollywood. For most of the time it IS the game. No one is immune. NBC once passed on Tom Cruise to star in a pilot. I consulted on a pilot that rejected Annette Bening. ABC demanded a series be recast to replace Tim Robbins. Chuck Lorre has unsold pilots. So does Woody Allen.   Jennifer Hudson got booted off AMERICAN IDOL. You get the idea.

My writing partner, David Isaacs, and I have had our share of rejections over the years. But every so often we'll get one that really gets our attention because of the explanation. Here are a few.   If you've been in the business for more than twenty minutes you probably have six examples of your own. 

We did a pilot once for NBC. We turned it in and they said, “This is exactly what we’re looking for.” We were feeling great.  A few days later they passed. Their explanation: “This was exactly what we were looking for… last week.”

I once wrote a spec screenplay. A studio executive rejected it, but said, “The writing was so good it almost fooled me into liking this movie.” Gee, thanks.

A pilot we developed for Fox was rejected as being “too NBC.” At the time NBC was the gold standard for comedies and Fox was a mess.  So I guess that was a compliment... maybe?

Early in our career ABC came to us to develop a family pilot. We did. They rejected it. Why? Because they had also developed one with Erma Bombeck but she had a commitment. So ABC said to us, “If it’s any consolation, yours was much better.” No. Not really.

Very early in our career we had a two-pilot deal at NBC. They had to produce at least one of the two scripts. They chose to greenlight the first. The pilot process was a struggle, filled with “creative differences.” The show didn’t get on the air (losing out to PINK LADY AND JEFF), but we still had another script commitment. So we worked with them, developed a new project, turned it in, and the VP of Comedy Development called us to say, “Wow. Guys. I’m really impressed. You guys really put a lot of effort into this even though you had to know there was no way we were going to make it.” Again, thanks.  Were we pros or schmucks?

When Les Moonves pulled the plug on ALMOST PERFECT he told me “it was the best show he ever cancelled.” Yes, on one hand that’s gratifying, but on the other – seriously??? (I’m still waiting for the reverse – someone to say, “This is the worst thing I ever bought.”)

No matter how you get rejected, the key is to shake it off and move forward. I’m not saying it doesn’t sting, or was fair, but you have to rise above it. You don’t have to sell everything. Just enough. And if you do sell enough and become hot enough, then suddenly everybody will want to buy all the stuff they had rejected.   Even the stuff that wasn't "the best." 

UPDATE:  I will post tomorrow my reflections on the tragic death of Robin Williams.  I need some time to process it.  My heart goes out to his family and millions of fans.

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A hilarious news anchor faux pas

You'd like to think Edward R. Murrow would not have made this mistake. Here's WCAU Philadelphia anchor Lori Wilson reporting on "shaving her muff."  Don't they teach "muff" in journalism school?

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Only in LA

Winning awards is sooo important, so VITAL that studios and network launch big campaigns.  It used to be full page ads in industry trades.  But now it's literally billboards.   There are not that many Emmy voters, and I don't quite see how a billboard will sway a member to vote for your show, but okay.

Except...  that this is all money that could be put to better use -- like hiring more writers, or allowing assistants to park on the lot for free.  Between the elaborate screener presentations and now billboards -- you could probably get an Aaron Sorkin for what all of that nonsense cost. 

I imagine you don't see a "For Your Consideration" ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK billboard in Kansas City or Fort Wayne.  

And by the way, it's not just Netflix staging these campaigns.  

Sometimes actors get ads included as part of their deals.  My favorite was once seeing a full-page ad in Variety that said:  "For Your Consideration for Best Actor in a Motion Picture -- DeForest Kellwy as Bones in STAR TREK 2. "  Seriously? 

Only in LA. 

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How TV stars become movie stars

It's not easy to make the jump.  Many flame out.  Jason Bateman is crossing over.  Jennifer Aniston did it a few years ago and is still making movies. 

But it got me thinking about other TV vets who crossed the great divide and made it big in features. The one that jumps to mind immediately is James Cromwell. Terrific actor. Can play anything. But for years he just knocked around as a goofy character actor on TV. He was “Jamey” Cromwell then. We used him a couple of times on MASH and he was terrific. But I remember once when casting a pilot his name came up and my partner and I said, “he’s good but Jesus, haven’t we seen him like a million times? Isn’t there anyone else more fresh?”. Today we’d be lucky if he’d read one of our scripts.

Anyway, there are many other examples from George Clooney to Morgan Freeman, Clint Eastwood, Steve McQueen, Goldie Hawn, Thomas Hayden Church, Woody Harrelson, and I'm sure you can list ten others. But for every one who makes it, there are also a hundred David Caruso's and Matt LeBlanc's who don't. Why?

I don’t know. The X-Factor. Movie stars have a presence, a danger, a glow. There is something riveting about them. They can surprise you. They can command the big screen.

And they’re incredibly lucky. They happened to be in a hit. Again, going back to Jamey Cromwell. He gets a call from his agent:

Agent: Listen, I think I got something for you.

Jamey: (excited) A guest spot on WEBSTER?

Agent: Better.

Jamey: Wow! What?

Agent: A movie.

Jamey: Really! Fantastic!

Agent: Yeah, it’s a great story. There’s this pig that wants to be a sheepdog and he goes to live with this…

Jamey: Wait, wait. Back up a minute. A pig?

Agent: Cutest one you’ve ever seen.

Jamey: Brother. And what do I play?

Agent: The farmer.

Jamey: Who does what?

Agent: Who enters the pig in a sheepdog contest.

Jamey: Do I have a lot of lines?

Agent: Yes, but not as many as the pig.

Jamey: See if you can get me a callback on that WEBSTER.

Agent: No, no, you’re not hearing me. This could be a huge mainstream movie. And of the humans, you have the most to do.

Jamey (wavering): Well… it would be good to be in a big summer blockbuster.

Agent: Great. They film in Australia.

Jamey: Huh? How mainstream can this be if we film it in Australia?

Agent: I dunno. They got a deal on the pigs.

Jamey: Don’t Levine & Isaacs have a pilot? I mean, if I’m going to stoop…

Agent: Sorry. Nothing this season. I think the industry is starting to wise up about those two hacks. And I’m afraid WEBSTER isn’t going to happen. I’ve been holding this from you but Alex Karras doesn’t think you’re a good actor.

Jamey: Alex Karras? I’m not good enough for Alex Karras? Okay. Fine. I’ll do the fucking pig movie.

Agent: That’s great! Fantastic! Except…

Jamey: Except what? I lose the audience’s sympathy by eating my co-star?

Agent: No, it’s just that… you don’t have it yet. They’re going to want a screen test

Jamey: A screen test?! Why? They know what I’ve done. Just watch any episode of LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE. I must’ve played eighteen farmers.

Agent: Yeah, but they… they kinda want to see if there’s any chemistry between you and the uh… your little pink co-star… who by the way, would get billing under you. I negotiated that. It wasn’t easy but I got it. (Off Jamey’s silence) Look, you’re right. I’ll find something else. Let me check the cop shows. See which ones you weren’t killed in and I’ll call them again.

Jamey: (resigned) No, no. What the hell? Set up a meeting with the pig.

Cromwell was nominated for an Academy Award for his role in BABE and went on to terrific roles in many top movies including L.A. CONFIDENTIAL.  If Matthew Perry's new series (THE ODD COUPLE) doesn't catch on I think he'll be on the phone to agent saying, "Scare me up a pig." 

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Friday Questions

As the summer rolls on, so do Friday Questions.

Max gets us started.

Are there any actors you have worked with over the years and were absolutely blown away by their talent...but they never "made it"? Is that common, or do the truly exceptional actors generally rise to the top eventually?

I could give you names but you’ve never heard of them.

Timing and luck does play a big part in success. George Clooney, for example, knocked around doing pilot after pilot. He was lucky enough to get ER and it launched him into stardom. If someone else got that role, who knows?

I’ve always felt that way about Nancy Travis. She’s a truly gifted actress and comedienne and certainly has made a nice career for herself, but I always felt that had Nancy been in a breakout movie or smash TV show she would be fighting Sandra Bullock for Oscar nominations.

Yes, there are performers who are just so spectacular that success is a given – singers like Barbra Streisand – but for the most part it’s a combination of talent and luck. You need that big break. Of course, should that big break come you need to deliver.

mmryan314 asks:

I realize that confidentiality agreements abound in celebrity world. How constrained are you from writing about stars and others that you have personally worked with on shows?

I’ve never been asked to sign a confidentiality agreement. I try to be candid in this blog when discussing industry people I’ve worked with, but if I say something unflattering about someone I either have the facts to back it up or state clearly that this is just my opinion. Bottom line: I’ve never viewed this blog as a forum for getting back at anyone.  And I take much greater joy praising someone than knocking them. 

I also feel it’s important to show discretion when dealing with celebrities’ private lives. So much misinformation gets spread and once it’s on the internet you can bet it winds up on Wikipedia or fifteen other websites.

I always honor anything said to me in confidence. Don’t come here expecting a scoop or anything particularly juicy.

Matt P wonders:

Ballpark -- how many pilots have you created but not had picked up? One a year or something like that?

Jesus, that would be over thirty pilots that got rejected. Happy to say, it's much less than that. Probably seven or eight. But we were paid for all of them so don't feel too sorry for us.

Pilots don’t get picked up for any number of reasons.  Next Monday I do a post about infuriating rejections.

Bad casting choices can kill a pilot faster than anything else. And with networks now pretty much dictating casting, you’re somewhat at the mercy of someone else making the final selections that will determine your cast and your fate. (as opposed to cast your fate to the wind)

Other times pilots don’t get picked up because the network person buying the project is not in sync with his superior. So you do all the work, address all the notes, and then the person-in-charge says “I don’t want to do a show about such-and-such.”  At which point you're dead.

But as the expression goes, “it’s the business we chose.”

From Brian:

How do you feel about watching a program with subtitles on? If you happened to watch a program with them on (maybe with somebody that needed them) would it detract from the dialog of the actors for you?

There are some shows where the actors mumble the dialog to the point where I have no idea what they’re saying. That’s right, Kiefer, I’m looking at you. I need the closed captions just to decipher English.

But otherwise, no. I do find them distracting.

And then you have that NBC summer show, WELCOME TO SWEDEN, that has subtitles right in the show. Personally, I find them annoying.

Ed from South Bend has a question about Brandon Tartikoff.

He is sainted in the industry by many creative. Yes, he stood for quality more than most, yet he also was given a longer leash than most (By Tinker??).

What say you? Any personal dealings you could recount?

I did an entire post about my relationship with Brandon. You can find it here.

What's your Friday Question?

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Ruffled Peacock feathers

Yesterday's discussion of failed pilots led blog reader Todd Everett mentioning the Preview House on Sunset Blvd. where pilots used to be audience tested.  I know it well.  In 1974 during one of my many out-of-work periods as a disc jockey, I worked in the research department of NBC.  This was during pilot season.  I got to see the process firsthand... and cause a major shitstorm that rose to the level of network president.  More about that in a minute.

As Todd noted, a Mr. Magoo cartoon was shown first to get a sense of how lively the audience was.  At the time we were told this was particular cartoon had never been released so audience members were seeing it for the first time.  That's assuming no audience member ever went to the Preview House twice, and based on the sorry batch we showed them that year, I don't know why any of them would ever want to return. 

The pilot I remember most was FRAUD SQUAD starring Frank Sinatra Jr.  This was a spin off of ADAM 12 (produced by Jack Webb) and to this day I believe it was the worst testing show in history. Not only did the audience not like Frank Sinatra Jr. as the head of the LAPD Fraud Squad, they felt he was dishonest,   That's not good for the lead in a crime stopper show.   Others we tested included DOCTOR DOMINGO with Desi Arnaz (trading in Lucy for a talking parrot), the THE BOB CRANE SHOW (Crane goes back to college, coeds beware). NBC was in a big slump and their development slate was a pack of dogs. 

Now the major incident I caused.

One night during this testing period NBC aired a MOW called “A Case of Rape” starring Elizabeth Montgomery. It got huge numbers. So as a goof I wrote an internal memo to the research department recommending NBC do this as a weekly series.  Hey, I was a kid. 

Well, somehow the memo got out and was released to all department heads including the President of the network, Marvin Antonowsky. He was known as the “Mad Programmer”. Probably that incident is how he got his name. Marvin went bat shit. I was summoned to his office to make a formal apology. Wisely, I did not take that opportunity to drop off my spec script.

My tenure at NBC ended a couple of weeks later when I got a disc jockey job in Detroit. And that ended my venture into the corporate world. But who knows? If I didn’t make that faux pas maybe I would have risen up through the ranks. After 40 years I bet I'd be Vice President of Children’s Programming today.

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What happens to failed pilots?

Only two more days to buy the Kindle version of my comic novel MUST KILL TV for only $0.99.  You save 90%.  It's a great way to help support this free blog and get lots of laughs for under a buck.  Here's where you go.  But hurry.  Sale ends tomorrow.  Thanks for making me a Best Seller.  I need it way more than Carl Hiaasen.  

And now today's post...

Here’s one of those Friday Questions that became an entire post.

Chris asks:

I never knew what happens to a rejected pilot. Can't you pitch it the next year or a couple of years from when it got shot down? I mean, if you think the idea is good enough to write a pilot and try to make a show out of it, wouldn't you want to keep trying? Has this ever happened or do people just move on and never look back? And if so, why?

Most failed pilots just die and are never heard from again. Back in the ‘60s and ‘70s networks would recoup some of their production costs by airing them in the summer. From their perspective it was original program and saved them some coin. The industry nickname for this practice was “Failure Theater.” We had a pilot that aired on NBC at 11:30 PM on Sunday night in 1980, and I bet more people saw it than watched any episode of THE MICHAEL J. FOX SHOW.

Sometimes networks took heat when failed pilots were perceived as way better than the dreck they actually picked up. Networks do not like being embarrassed.

You may say, well then why don’t they just go ahead and order these shows to series if they were so well received? Because when you do a pilot you have a hold on the cast for a limited period. By the time these failed pilots aired those hold period were over and the actors had already scattered to do other things.

There have been instances where failed pilots have been shopped around and land on other networks. 3RD ROCK FROM THE SUN was made for ABC. They passed. NBC picked it up and it became a big hit. Networks soooo hate to be embarrassed that because of that and a few other similar examples, that there was a period in the ‘90s and early ‘00s when they would not release failed pilots. They’d rather just eat the money than see it become a hit elsewhere.

And then the economy changed. Belts were tightened, and networks realized that they hate to lose money more than they hate to be embarrassed. So they again agreed to release pilots. If another network is willing to pick up a failed pilot and compensate the production cost then God bless 'em.

Also, in today’s marketplace, networks are less willing to just junk a pilot they feel has potential. In quite a few cases lately, networks have re-developed pilots – recasting or commissioning new scripts. It seems like every year Jim Gaffigan has a pilot for CBS that almost gets on the schedule. Finally, his twice rejected CBS pilot was ordered to series by TV LAND.   BIG BANG THEORY was a do-over that finally got it right. I don’t remember the name, but one pilot that got picked up this year was a show that almost made the cut a year before.

But by far the most bizarre case of a failed pilot getting a second life is DEAR DIARY, a 1997 half-hour single camera sitcom starring Bebe Neuwirth. ABC passed, the production company (Dreamworks) released it theatrically, it made the festival circuit, and WON the Academy Award for best short film.

You sure can't call that "Failure Theater."

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