Oscar campaigns

We have officially entered Oscar season. This is the time of year Harvey Weinstein, Steven Spielberg, and Will Smith live for. Studios will spend big bucks on campaigns – all designed to cop those coveted Oscar nominations. You'll see posters, full-page ads, DVD’s, private screenings, and appearances. Hell, if you’re an Academy member Steven Spielberg will come to your house personally and help you clean your storm drains. He wants them statuettes!

But what of those other poor deserving films that can’t afford a splashy billion-dollar campaign? Shouldn’t they get a chance to sing their own praises too? I say yes, and so as a public service, here are some movies and achievements that deserve your consideration this Oscar season.

KATY PERRY’S PART OF ME: 3D
“Katy Perry cements her place as America’s finest actress in this riveting and haunting tale.” -- Bert Schmeldenbaucher, Mojavie World Telegram.
“Best movie of the year!” -- Jeffrey Lyons, syndicated film critic

EXPENDABLES 2
“After seeing Arnold in this film, movie lovers are all saying, ‘where have you been?’” -- Betsy Dorkuspig, Utica Tattler
“Now these are action stars!” – Titus Wigglebottom, Octogenarian Yearly
“Best movie of the year!” – Jeffrey Lyons, syndicated film critic

ATM
“Finally! A slasher movie that also tackles personal finances!” – Yetta Pimskotch, MyCrazyAunt.com
“Alice Eve makes you forget about Fernanda Andrade.” – Ollie Putz, Buttonwillow Daily Recycler
“Best movie of the year!” – Jeffrey Lyons, syndicated film critic

ODD LIFE OF TIMOTHY GREEN
“Best child-as-plant film since LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS” – Medla Markanheimer-Wong, her podcast
“You’ll cry so much you can water your lawn” – Phoebe Stegmata, Aetna Insurance, inter-office memo
“Best movie of the year!” – Jeffrey Lyons, syndicated film critic

THE DEVIL INSIDE
“Groundbreaking filmmaking. It has no ending. Either that or I missed a reel.” – Zena Fitzwilly, Gratiot World-Gazette
“Greatest ending of the year!” – Jeffrey Lyons, syndicated film critic

BATTLESHIP
“I didn’t want it to end. Someone should invent a board game of this.” – Lally Agamemnon, French Lick Keen Observer
“A masterclass in imitating Michael Bay” – F.X. Stottlemeyer, Film as Art magazine
"Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker prove that acting is more important than special effects" -- Darvy Dalrimple, Tea Party Telegram
“Best movie of the year” – Jeffrey Lyons, syndicated film critic

ROCK OF AGES
“What LES MISERABLES should have been” – Lisa Freep, President of the Tom Cruise fan club
“It was liking having your favorite actors join you for Karaoke night” – Burford Bozelboof, Mercenary Life magazine
“Best movie of the year” – Jeffrey Lyons, syndicated film critic

ONE FOR THE MONEY
“Step aside Meryl Streep. Katherine Heigl rises to the level of national treasure in this uproarious comedy.” – Fawn Ipskow, Roswell Forever newsletter
“Four stars and all of them are Katherine Heigl” – Mary Beth Margaret Rose St. Swithens, Jewish Journal
“And you didn’t think she could top herself after ZYZZYX ROAD but by God Katherine Heigl is that good! – J.R. Junior Jr., critic, Channel 64, Public Access, Apopka, Florida
“Didn’t like it. I don’t get Katherine Heigl.” – Jeffrey Lyons, syndicated film critic

If any of these wins an Academy Award I want to be thanked. Best of luck to them all.