Full confession

I have a good friend who, back in the ‘90s, used to work for SPORTS ILLUSTRATED. Every holiday season he would send me an SI holiday gift box. Inside would be handsome coffee table books of golf tournaments and classic World Series and also an engagement calendar. This is a handsome desk calendar broken down into weeks with photos of swimsuit models accompanying each week.

So I began using them. I’d fill in appointments, lunch dates, when scripts were due, which weeks I was scheduled to direct, etc. And yes, I’d look at the pictures. These girls are all in bikinis I should add. Tiny, microscopic even, but still. It’s not the Pornhub Engagement calendar.

And I even knew one of the models – Stacey Williams (pictured: right). She worked out in my gym. (She came to a FRASIER filming one week, saw me on the floor with the other writers, called for me, came down and gave me a big hug, and I thought the other writers were going to have strokes.) So there was the added benefit of … uh, supporting a friend’s work.

After about five years my SI buddy retired. The holiday swag ceased. Now I was left with a big decision. Do I still get the SI engagement calendar even if I have to pay for it? When I would get a funny look from someone who saw the calendar on my desk I could always say, “Hey, it was a gift.”

I decided to continue. After all, it was easier to go back through the years if they were all in a uniformed format. And if I was ever audited, hopefully the inspector would be so distracted by the photo of Brooklyn Decker he wouldn’t see that I wrote off lunch with Stacey Williams as a business expense.

Still there are those who roll their eyes. At my age I should be getting American Presidents Engagement calendars or Antique Walking Cane Engagement calendars.

So that’s my full confession. If you think I’m a pervert so be it. But I ordered next year’s calendar on Amazon and just got an email saying that my shipment has been delayed. They ran out of stock. So I may be a perv but now I know – I’m not the only one!!!