Getting ready for the Golden Globes

Tonight is the whatever-annual Golden Globe Awards on NBC. I will be reviewing them along with my daughter, Annie and her writing partner, Jon.  The review will appear tomorrow morning.  To get you in the mood, here are a few highlights from past Golden Globe reviews. In compiling these I realized there were a lot of years I didn’t bother. The reasons being: I don’t give a shit, they were canceled, I was on the radio the night they aired, I forgot, I wasn’t nominated, Debra Messing was, I don’t get NBC on my cable provider, and CSPAN-2 aired a senate sub-committee fact-finding hearing on sorghum subsidies in the plain states.

But when I did bite the bullet, these were some of my observations:

Sir Laurence Olivier at one time won a Golden Globe which literally broke in his hand during his acceptance speech.

The big incentive for stars to attend the Golden Globes is that they do provide dinner. And they can thank the busboys for voting for them.

There's no need to thank them from the stage. What they really want is tips.

Paula Patton looked like the world’s yummiest yellow Peep.

The ceremony itself was held in the glittering Beverly Hilton Hotel Ballroom, site of the Temple Emmanuel Purim Ball.

Where else can you see Clint Eastwood and the Queer Eye guys considered peers?

More on the ceremony in a moment, but first a look back at NBC’s Red Carpet Arrival Show. First, it started without sound. Then it was hosted by the least talented person on the planet – Carson Daly. When interviewing Leo DiCaprio he had to look down at his card before asking the following question: “So how are you doin’?” Why is this lox on TV?

When Francis Conroy is not the most obscure actor to win an award you know you're in trouble.

Justin Bieber was the only presenter who was shorter than the statue.

Do seat fillers get to eat the meals of the people their substituting for?

Dustin Hoffman is starting to look like Bob Uecker.

Shows on host network NBC won exactly no Golden Globes.

THE LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY did so well I say it's time for a sequel.

The big highlight for me was HOMELAND’S Morena Baccarin. I’ve never seen a gown that was both backless and frontless. She has now starred in the TV series and dress named V.

Debra Messing came as Tin Tin.

Tilda Swinton came as David Bowie.

With big stars like Brad Pitt and Natalie Portman in the audience, why were they cutting to Piper Perabo for reaction shots?

Nice tribute to Morgan Freeman. He’s made 50 movies. In half of them Ashley Judd gets kidnapped.

70 year-old Jane Fonda looked spectacular. I love the new hip, Janie!

The ceremony took place one mile from my house. Albert Brooks should have known he wouldn’t win when his table was on our front lawn.

See you tomorrow with this year’s report. If the three of us don’t fall asleep.