CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER -- my review

Marvel gets it. DC doesn’t. Comic book movies need to be fun. I mean, it’s a guy in tights defying the laws of physics, thrilling action scenes, and generally 20,000 innocent bystanders getting killed in the crossfire of all the mayhem and destruction. If you can’t have a good time with all of this, then what’s the point?

MAN OF STEEL was terrible. You’re supposed to want to BE Superman while watching the movie. Wouldn’t it be cool to fly and beat the shit out of anybody, and see anyone naked you wish? Yes, that’s juvenile but how old were we when we bought the comic books and fell in love with the character?   I don’t want to know that Superman is a tortured soul. A hot chick like Lois Lane would sleep with him in a second. Waa waa, he’s from another planet.

But Captain America is my kind of superdude. Yes, he’s got a nagging conscience but he’s 95 years old. We all have baggage. And it’s never enough to distract him from single-handedly beating the living crap out of a small army. You can feel good about human beings being flung into walls and crushed to death because they’re all wearing dark uniforms and it’s all in the service of the Good Old USA. I must confess, there were a few violent encounters with bad guys where I said, “Huh? You let him live? Why? Use your shield. Let’s see if you can swat the guy all the way to the Lincoln Memorial.” Chris Evans is likeable, earnest, and among women moviegoers, I bet there’s not a dry seat in the theater.

Even more fun for me was Scarlett Johansson as whatever-the-word for Catwoman is in Russian. She’s Jewish and she’s badass. Take that Nazis and sinister secret organizations planning on dominating the world (think: Time-Warner Cable).

And then there’s Samuel L. Jackson, always good for some rollicking scene stealing. Even as he was saying, “Don’t trust anybody” I was ordering a Capital One card.

Anthony Mackie is Will Smith without the desperate need for an Oscar. Robert Redford has decided it’s time to appear in a movie that anyone will go see. It’s inspired stunt casting for the 20% of Marvel Universe fans who know who he is.

And then there’s Cobie Smulders. Spectacularly gorgeous as always and wisely not asked to be funny. When left to saying lines like, “heat shield in place” and “seven minutes to launch” she’s fine. The best thing about her performance is that she has amazing skin.

The story is a big conspiracy/explosion/car chase fest. THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOR meets any Michael Bay film. But it moves at a nice clip, has enough Marvel lore to keep fans happy, and best of all, doesn’t take itself too seriously. There are funny lines throughout.

Naturally, the movie builds to a giant CGI-apalooza complete with thrills and spills and people taking punches that would kill a rhinoceros. But the suspense builds, the threat makes sense, and you get caught up in the film enough that you don’t ask the obvious question: Where the hell are the rest of the Avengers?

CAPTAIN AMERICA 2 is worth seeing. If Superman wants to brood over something, brood over how much better the Marvel filmmakers are than yours.