Why I thank God I never worked with Cybill Shepherd

Thanks to reader Mike.Pa for reminding me of this post from seven years ago.  Discussion today of Cybill Shepherd because of THE HEARTBREAK KID led him to recall this entry.   For anyone who thought the Charles Grodin character didn't get his comeuppance, imagine being married to THIS.If the ST. ELSEWHERE/CHEERS scene is one of the more famous crossovers in television history then the ALMOST PERFECT/CYBILL crossover has to be one...

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My favorite Neil Simon movie

Well, it was sure fun hosting for TCM.  Hope to do it again sometime.  Last night I showed my favorite Neil Simon movie, THE HEARTBREAK KID.  Here is my script for the intro and outro.   Written by me and Anne Wilson.  INTRO:Hi, I’m Ken Levine – a TV writer, playwright and a blogger – quick plug: Ken Levine dot blogspot dot com – and I’m back for the final night of hosting TCM’s “Friday Night Spotlight” on Neil Simon....

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Friday Questions

Well, we’ve come to the end of the Neil Simon Film Festival on TCM. Tonight’s my final night.  Will you miss me?   But we begin with my all-time favorite Neil Simon film, HEARTBREAK KID. The fun and my schtick begins at 8 PM EST/5 PM PST. Okay, now some Friday Questions.Charles H. Bryan starts us off:So how did you become aware of the TCM gig (or it of you)?They approached me. I had done a tribute piece on Neil Simon and...

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R.I.P. Lee Baby Simms

So sorry to hear of the apparent passing of Lee Baby Simms. He was 72. Lee Baby Simms was maybe the greatest disc jockey you never heard of or don’t remember. Even if he was in your market he never stayed around long enough to really attract a following. I thought I got fired a lot, but Lee Baby worked in the following markets: Charleston, Orlando, San Antonio, Hartford, Cleveland, San Diego (twice), San Antonio (three times), Detroit, Los Angeles...

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Positive spin (or in this case -- positive spiral)

Hi, this is the NFL. We’re the professional sports league that brings you the Super Bowl!The Patriots won the AFC Championship supposedly with under-inflated footballs. (As a result they beat Indianapolis 45-7 instead of 45-14.) Football has become America’s favorite sport thanks to us and our leadership.The Cowboys eliminated Detroit from the playoffs essentially thanks to one of the worst calls in history. And then it was discovered that...

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The Red Carpet Stupid Question of All-Time

From TNT's Red Carpet arrival show for the SAG Awards. TNT correspondent/idiot Danielle Demsky interviewing Rashida Jones -- daughter of Peggy Lipton & Quincy Jones. Listen to what this airhead asks Rashida. Great job, TNT....

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My day at the DMV

Is there anything worse than having to go to the Department of Motor Vehicles? It combines all your favorite activities – dealing with bureaucracy, taking tests, waiting endlessly, and paying money. My driver’s license was up for renewal. In the past they’ve let me do that online. Not this time. I guess they figure my picture is so old it looks more like my son than me. Every time I go to the DMV I can expect confusion, crowds, and the wrong...

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The most bizarre sentence I've ever written

My father is on Pinterest.I can't think of a sentence I've ever written more bizarre than that. Why he is on Pinterest is a total mystery to me, as well as how. I guess one of his social media pals signed him up. He’s already on Facebook. At his request a few years ago I signed him up. At first he was into it. I’d get emails from former high school girlfriends and showrunners saying, “Hey, your dad befriended me.” God bless him that he...

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You gotta see this

I posted it on my Facebook page but wanted to share it here too. This flight was stuck on the tarmac. How lucky for those passengers that these guys happened to be on boa...

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Does anyone know how to fix network comedies?

Warning:  Here comes a rant.  Hide the children. Just caught a NY Post article from the end of November (okay, I don’t usually read the NY Post, especially if there’s no A-Rod scandal). It’s by Robert Rorke and it’s entitled DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO FIX NETWORK COMEDIES? In the article he claims the new crop of sitcoms did not catch on because they’re not funny. I don’t disagree with him. But the problem comes when trying to answer the...

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Disco MASH

This is the way the song was MEANT to be heard. Presenting the Disco version of the MASH theme by the New Marketts.   Boogie down, Colonel Pott...

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Maybe my favorite bad review

I've posted this before, years ago, but it's one of my all-time favorites.  Do you remember a comedian named Gallagher?  I think he's still around.  His basic act was smashing watermelons.  When he performed in Cerritos, California in 1999 the LA Times reviewed it.   The review was so hilarious and scathing I had to keep it.  And share it.   If you can imagine the thinking that could have produced...

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RIP Sky Mall

Oh no. I just read where the Sky Mall has gone belly up. Readers of this blog know it’s one of my favorite subjects (targets). Where else are you going to find all the ridiculous inventions the Sharks reject on SHARK TANK? Yeah, you could go to The Sharper Image or various spy stores, but it’s not the same thing. The Sky Mall assembled all these "wonders of modern science" in catalog form. What a fun way to pass the time while you’re stuck...

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Christopher Walken when he could remember lines

You guys keep requesting my intros and outros so here's another one.  One of my favorite Neil Simon films was BILOXI BLUES, primarily because of Christopher Walken, ol' Captain Hook himself.  Here was my wraparound for last night's showing on TCM.  INTRO: Hi, I’m Ken Levine – a tv writer and director, a former major league baseball announcer – but my coolest gig ever is this – hosting TCM's Friday Night Spotlight this month.We’re focusing...

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Friday Questions

Got a bunch of Neil Simon movies to host tonight on TCM starting at 8 in the East and 5 in the West… including one of my favorites, BILOXI BLUES. So join me on the TV. Turning to the print mediim, here are this week’s Friday Questions.From Johann:I was watching a Cheers rerun and noticed it was directed by John Ratzenberger. I recall seeing an episode of Frasier directed by Kelsey Grammer. One episode of Seinfeld was directed by Jason Alexander....

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In defense of multi-camera sitcoms

The multi-camera format of sitcoms has become the gluten-free section of the TV menu. It’s offered but only begrudgingly and the assumption is it will only appeal to a very few. When networks announce their development slate, the first thing they say about a project is whether it’s single or multi-camera. And if it’s a multi-camera, half the time they quickly add that it’s a hybrid, so it’s not REALLY a multi-cam. It’s like multi-camera shows...

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What's in a name?

These are the most popular baby names of last year --  according to the website Nameberry.com. As usual, my name doesn't make the list. But I think that's because it's just not WEIRD enough. Holy shit! I can't believe some of these names. Khaleesi? How many pregnant women watch GAME OF THRONES? Hazel is back? Sadie is back? Katnis? Daenerys? Gemma?  Declan? Bodhi? Lachlan? These names will show up in Levine scripts you can bet.  Imogen...

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What I look for in a spec pilot

A few years ago, David Isaacs and I wrote a pilot for a major network. The development executive was new to the job. We turned in our first draft and heard he was very happy with it. Instead of going to the network for notes we would just do a conference call. The notes would be minimal. All the stuff that’s music to writers’ ears.At the appointed time he got on the phone and was hugely complimentary. “It’s amazing how you guys introduced...

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How I create characters

I love when Friday Questions become entire posts.  Here's one.  Max Davis wonders:Hi Ken, do you have any techniques or exercises you use when creating sitcom characters? I'm having a bit of trouble breathing life into mine. First I ask “what is his drive?” What does the character want or need that he can’t just get? You want characters who are active. Similarly, what is his attitude? What is his worldview?  You want your characters...

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Some random thoughts on today's NFL Championship Games

All NFL playoff games should be played outdoors. The worse the weather, the better.Even though the Seahawks were trailing by 16 and it was rainy and windy, I bet not one single Hawks fan left the stadium early.How many QB’s throw four interceptions and still win the NFC championship?   Russel Wilson is one lucky and great quarterback.  Green Bay should have gone for the TD’s in the first quarter when it was 4th and Goal on the 1....

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Neil Simon meets the Rat Pack

This was my wraparound for COME BLOW YOUR HORN on TCM.  As you might be able to tell, it wasn't my favorite.  Some much better movies on tap for this Friday night.INTRO:Hi, I’m Ken Levine – TV writer, playwright and long-time fan of Neil Simon, who’s the subject of this month’s “Friday Night Spotlight.” Up next is the film adaptation of Simon’s first play, “Come Blow your horn.”Now, we all love a good overnight success story but Neil Simon...

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Just a typical Saturday Night that's amazing!

How about these choices?  New York in the early '60s.  Wow.  I would go see any of these... except maybe CLEOPATRA.   If you had to pick, which of these attractions would you see tonight? ...

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The GOODBBYE GIRL intro and outro

These seem to be popular posts -- the scripts from my stint as host of the Neil Simon Film Festival on TCM.   Here's one from last night.INTROHi, I’m Ken Levine – a playwright, tv writer, director and great fan of the man in our “Friday Night Spotlight” this month, Neil Simon.Simon has written dozens of plays for Broadway and adapted many of them for the big screen, but he’s also written original screenplays and up next is one of his best....

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